by Christine Sandor

Created on: April 26, 2009

God Is. I have understood this for as long as I can remember, but I have not truly known it until the last several years. Growing up in the Catholic Church God was always "He", out there somewhere but never close enough that I felt I could grasp hold. The explanation of the Priests and the Nuns did not resonate for me. I believed there was more, or at the very least, something else.

I never completely bought into the description of Jesus as the only son of God. It didn't make sense. If God had created me too, and I was a "child of God" then - hello - I must be God's daughter. The Lutheran church I joined in young adulthood didn't help my inner understanding or questions. In fact, it further implied that I was a bit of a heretic for the way I thought. It was not long before I drifted on to do my "own thing."

Eventually I found a place that seemed to say what I knew all along. A small Unity Church held for me, for the first time, a place where I found people who thought the way I did. That God indeed had created us all and therefore we were all one with the Divine. I rested in this knowing but still wasn't sure I had a clear picture of this "God." I continued to look for answers. I knew somewhere deep within me that God was not "male." I could not have been created in God's image if that was true. I was quite certain I was all woman. The Goddess followings spoke to me, but still I did not think God could strictly be female. How then could we explain those very male creatures walking the earth? Perhaps God was both.

It made sense to me that God would have the aspects of both Male and Female, still something did not fit. To see God as in "human" form, hovering somewhere in the sky kept God separated from me. I was very convinced that God was not separate, that there was not a spot where God was not. I believed with all my heart that God was Omnipresent and as such the essence of the Divine Source of all creation was within everything and everybody.

I finally came to the conclusion that God is an energy source. An all powerful, all knowing, everywhere present entity that is Unconditional Love and Light. God is neither male or female, God is both. I came to see God in every face I looked into, every time I took a stroll through nature or sat on the beach and watched the waves crash on the shore. I knew God to be the ocean and me to be a drop of water within the vast expanse that is the Divine. I came to know at the very depth of my being that I am God Is.

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