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When dealing with annoying habits in loved ones, people have a tendency to either bite their tongue or shoot off their mouth. Finding the right way to address those annoying habits without alienating loved ones can be challenging. The habit can be almost anything that is done too frequently or too obviously.

It does not have to be something gross like public nose picking or groin scratching. A constant whistle or hum can do the trick. Even repeating a phrase over and over or constantly mispronouncing the same words may pass from interesting to annoying quite quickly. By following a few simple tips, the offending practice can be address without too much damage to the relationship.

Pick a time when there is not a large audience to overhear the discussion.

As troublesome as it is for someone to tell you that you have a fault, it is always worse to hear it when there are others present. The only reason to tell a loved one about an annoying habit publicly is to bring humiliation. If that is your purpose, you may already be several personality points below the person that you are correcting. Find a private time when the problem can be addressed in a personal and caring way if it is possible at all.

Try to discuss the situation from the perspective of wanting to help your loved one.

If your loved one has a habit that annoys you, the odds are good that it annoys plenty of other people. Unless your loved one simply acts obnoxious to annoy as many people as possible, they will probably appreciate your concern and offer to help them improve. By offering to help, it gives the person a chance to either seek your assistance to quit or offer reasons why it is not as bad as you believe.

Be prepared to offer ways to stop or other ways to do similar things without being annoying.

Breaking a habit can be a tough task. Just because the habit is annoying does not make it easier to stop. Even worse, habits often become so automatic that the person doing it does not even realize what is happening. Things like popping gum or licking ones lips can just be something has become an unconscious act. It can require another person to point out when it is happening until the offender can learn to discontinue doing it. The best way to eliminate a habit is to substitute another more acceptable habit in its place.

Do not take on multiple problems at once.

Before confronting your loved one, decide what habit deserves to be addressed the most if there are several. You do not want to come across as if you have been keeping score on their annoying habits. Pick the one that you believe is the worst and deal with it by itself. If this one goes well, you can come back in a few weeks and take a shot at fixing a second or third annoying habit.

If your loved one resists or protests too much, you may have to drop it and wait for another time.

Depending on your loved one's personality, they may not be receptive to your suggestions. In fact, it would not be entirely unexpected for the loved one to view it as unwanted and perhaps unwarranted criticism. If this happens, it may signal that you have picked a bad time to bring up the subject. It may reflect that your relationship with your loved one is not sound enough for the person to want to hear this type of news from you.

Step back and evaluate the outcome before trying again. You may find that this will be enough to bring a change in spite of the response. It may turn out that someone else will have to be one who gets the message through to your loved one.

Learn more about this author, Allen Teal.
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