by Ally Hart

Created on: April 26, 2009

Sibling Silence: When Adult siblings become estranged.

At one point or another in ones life we must let a relationship go. Whether the relationship is marriage, friends and lovers. Even family can drift apart. There are many other reasons why this happens like divorce, moving, change of interests, or in my case different choices and points of view, a hurtful disagreement.

My older brother and I grew up in a small country town in Western Quebec with our parents. My brother was always doted a "Genius" my father would brag about how he could "read at the age of three" when really he had the book memorized. Needless to say after the years went on that ego stuck to him like glue. Our parents divorced when I was 10, my brother was 13. Being the eldest he took it hard when his hopes of our family reuniting came to a sudden halt. My father got married to a woman with two other children from a previous marriage. He did not attend our fathers wedding and resided at our mothers.

As teenagers our parents had shared custody of me, so I saw my brother every other weekend it didn't make for a very close knit relationship. At the age of 18 I had moved out of my fathers house and permanently into my mothers (for personal reasons) that was when my brother and I had a glimps of a relationship. We became friends, helped each other out and it lasted about 4 years.

Years went on, we grew up. My brother went on his way and I went on my own but we kept in touch and visited often up until I became pregnant with my first child. My brother and I were chatting via msn one day when I had mentioned my boyfriend. My brother ended up making a very rude (and vulgar) remark about my boyfriend that was untrue and uncalled for. My boyfriend had leaned in to say hi to me just as the message came on the screen and he saw it. He became very hurt that my brother who barely took the chance to get to know him or give him a chance had the nerve to judge him and say something like he did.

Needless to say there was an argument and my brother stands his ground as much as I stand mind. I havent seen my brother except twice in four years. He moved cities two years ago and has a family of his own now. Our mother updates me on the latest about him.

It's too bad he isn't part of my life anymore although I had wanted him to be. I only have one brother by blood. With that put aside the relationship needed to take its toll. Contact when necessary on birthdays and holidays. If you are close to your sibling give them a hug because some siblings just don't know how to be close.

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