by Christina Pomoni

Created on: April 25, 2009   Last Updated: May 02, 2009

Explaining adoption to a child is a very important as well as intricate issue. Adoptive parents need to consider the importance of telling their child that he or she is adopted at an age that the child would be able to understand without getting hurt.

In the past, adoptive parents avoided to tell their children they were adopted in the fear of causing turbulence in the family. Without a doubt, this has been an utterly wrong tactics, mainly because adopted children always learn the truth at some point of their life. Sometimes, people who know about the adoption reveal the truth accidentally or even intentionally. In other cases, adoptees find documents that prove they have been adopted.

Almost all experts agree that children should be told about adoption prior to adolescence. However, deciding the best age to talk to a child about adoption is not an one-time decision. Instead, it is an ongoing process.

Some adoptive parents choose to repeat the word "adoption" to their infants so that they get used to listening to the word without, of course, understanding the meaning. However, as the infant grows to a child, it comes natural that he or she asks what adoption is about.

Other adoptive parents choose to talk about adoption when their children turns 2 years old. Some experts suggest that this is wrong because explaining adoption to a preschooler may cause permanent emotional trauma. Many preschoolers express feelings of confusion and anxiety and feel insecure in their homes. This is mainly explained by the fact that, at this age, children have not yet fully developed their understanding about important issues such as adoption. However, instead of ignoring the issue, they keep on thinking that they live with strangers who are not their birth parents and they develop fear and anger. Other experts disagree and assert that, at this age, children consider adoption as a game, as something positive that has happened in their lives. Particularly, if they grow up in a warm and loving environment, they develop positive feelings for their adoptive parents and feel protected in the family. By the time they grow up, they are fully affiliated with the idea of adoption.

Some adoptive parents wait until their children become 8 years old or even older. From one hand, children of this age have already understood concepts that relate to family and motherhood and amybe they have heard about adoption as well. Also, they are alos enough to participate in this sensitive process. On the other

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