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Love was so natural between Helen and me. It was in her eyes the first time she walked into the newspaper office and introduced herself. I was to be her advisor in publishing the high school newspaper. She was the student editor. I was a reporter for the local newspaper, where the publication would be printed.

We dated through college. We even engaged for more than a year. I finished one year ahead of her. I was completing my military obligation when she was finishing her degree - in three years. I took a job in Dallas and she took one in Fort Worth.

After we got settled in our new jobs we began seeing each other again, but we made no commitments. I felt our romance was returning, and then I had a job offer from another newspaper, but it was in another city, San Angelo, in far Central West Texas.

Within a month, the absence that often brings fondness brought us together again. "Do you still have that ring?" she asked one evening when she called me.

"Yes," I said. "I couldn't get rid of it."

"When you come this weekend, bring it with you," she said. "I'm ready to be your wife."

We were married the following June.

In September, we learned she was pregnant.

Our happiness soon would be interrupted by a nightmare. She began to have excruciating pain in her joints. The doctors ordered a battery of tests. Afew days later the internist asked for both of us to meet with him.

"As far as we can tell, everything is fine with the baby," he said. "But, Helen, you have a condition called lupus erythematosus."

"What is it?" I asked.

"It is an ailment she may have had all of her life, but was dormant in her until she became pregnant," he said. "When she became pregnant, it began attacking her organs. It's akin to rheumatoid arthritis."

"Is there a cure?" we both asked together.

"I'm afraid not," he said. "There is a group of doctors in Houston who are doing research on it. I have talked with them, and if you will agree to enter a program there, they may be able to help you. The best we can hope for is that they can arrest it with some form of medication."

Several weeks in Houston resulted in huge doses of cortisone being prescribed. Her tiny body began to balloon, not just from the several months of pregnancy but from the medication.

In early February, her internist gave us both a bleak and hopeful diagnosis. "The medication isn't working," he said, "but when the pregnancy is terminated, the Lupus may become dormant again."

A couple weeks later came heartbreak. "We can't find a heartbeat,"

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