by Danelle Karth

Created on: April 24, 2009

Communication is very important in a healthy marriage. However, there are some things in our past that are often hard to talk about. Even thinking about them can bring us pain and remind us why it is so hard to get past these types of events. At the same time, these events often effect us today. Some of us struggle with certain words, events, and even normal sexual behavior between loving adults. Because of this it is even more important that we share with our spouse any and all abuse in our childhood. It will make the relationship stronger.

Living Through Sexual Abuse.

There are a lot of different types of sexual abuse. It can come from lots of different sources, at different ages, and in different forms. But one thing remains true; it all hurts. Whether you are a young child when it happens or an adult, sexual abuse isn't something to laugh about. It is painful and can cause a lot of emotional and mental issues. These issues can be gotten over, however there always seems to be a stain once their wiped up and cleared away. This can effect your relationship if your spouse doesn't understand where it comes from.

Sharing The Pain.

No matter how good you feel about the situation it is important that you share at least a little of what happened, and more importantly how it made you feel. Showing your spouse the pain is often a vulnerability issue, but it is important because you don't want to keep any part of you from him or her. Share how the event(s) made you feel and any emotions, feelings, or issues that you still have today so that they can understand where you are coming from.

Understanding.

It is true that they can't know exactly how you feel. Even when someone has experienced a situation similar there are still a lot of differences because personality, events, and other things are different and can change how we react to a situation. However, he or she can work toward understanding where you are coming from. This can make a huge difference in your life. Then when things come up that are related to the past issues there is someone in your corner to help you fight. They can also help you work through the issues that you have today because of the past.

Secrets are something that we often desire to keep. We want to protect ourselves and others by keeping it all to ourselves. However, healthy strong marriages are based on complete honesty. This includes sharing the painful parts as well. It will grow you both closer.

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