by Lucille Boscombe

Created on: April 24, 2009

Adoption is a timeworn custom that has been practiced since ancient Egyptian and Greek times and has even been mentioned in the Bible. This institution was created to benefit not only the child in question, but also the birth parents as well as the childless couple wanting to adopt. It is a triangle of love laced with poignancy between three sets of individuals that will literally last a lifetime.

The judgmental society of the 1930's to the 1960's placed shame, embarrassment and a sense of inadequacy on birth parents that decided to surrender their child to adoption. Closed adoptions were a statutory norm in a bid to protect birth parents from shame and to protect adoptive parents from the risk of losing their adoptive child should the birth parents change their minds. It was not until the 1970's when evidence came to the fore that proved the psychological damage that closed adoptions had on all three parties to the adoption.

An open adoption is one in which the birthparents and adoptive parents meet each other, exchange identifying information and agree on the level and frequency of future contact with the adopted child.

The profound pain and suffering that impacts upon the birthparents of the infant that is relinquished to adoption can be eased in open adoptions. More often than not, the birthparents carry with them a sense of worthlessness and guilt after giving up their child for adoption. They believe that the child will see their actions as rejection and abandonment and hate them for this. Open adoption gives these parents an opportunity to make the reasons for adoption clear to these children, providing them with a level of redemption.

Open adoption not only allows birthparents to tell their surrendered children that they still love and care for them, but also help to find closure in the knowledge that their child is happy and well cared for. The absence of contact and knowledge in a closed adoption is tantamount to death and the birthparents will always be haunted by the child that they gave up.

For the adoptee, an open adoption will soothe the complications encountered in the process of developing their individual identity, while a closed adoption will make them feel like a part of their personal history is unreachable. An open adoption gives the child information regarding his birthparents and will prevent the formation of fantastic and distorted images of their birthparents, which can create further problems later in their lives.

Another advantage of an open adoption is that the child will have reasons why his birthparents gave him up and he will not grow up believing that it was because there was something wrong with him. This in turn will negate any possible deep-seated fears related to separation and loss.

Finally, the knowledge that open adoption brings will make it possible for the adoptive parents to talk to their children about the birthparents as real people and answer questions regarding them truthfully. Open adoption will remove the unknown factor and thus the adoptive parents will not have fears that the birthparents will reclaim the child.

Obstruction of the benevolent essence of adoption should not be allowed through closed adoptions. At the heart of adoption are the best interests of the child and open adoptions will serve to nurture and protect these interests.

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