by Clay Reeves

Created on: April 24, 2009

Do you ever wonder what other living things on earth think of us?!? Do you suppose our pets look at us and our sometimes outrageous behavior and wonder why on earth they ever allowed us to choose them as roommates? We're the ones with the big brains and opposable thumbs aren't we, and we still manage to do some of the dumbest things! And...it seems that we're completely willing to ignore our shortcomings and stagger on into the wilderness, oblivious and ignorant! We could all make a list of the really weird ways we fall short of the standards set by... orangutans, say, or dolphins, but...let me offer my contribution - our use of and reliance upon the ubiquitous cell phone.

Now, I know that all of you have one (as do I), but I can still remember when no one did. It wasn't all that long ago, either. Didn't we seem to function reasonably well back then? Civilization wasn't suffering too badly was it - at least not from the lack of cell phones? We had those cute little buildings called phone booths where we could put in a couple of coins and dial any number we wanted. And the phone calls were actually important, too, weren't they? Is it really necessary now to constantly be in touch with every relative we have at all hours of the day? Couldn't we just wait until we got home to call Uncle Bill about his gall bladder operation? Do we really need to access the internet to get ball scores while sitting in a Starbucks and sucking down a latte?

I was shopping with my wife one Saturday afternoon (which meant that I was sitting on a bench out in the mall with the other husbands), when I saw and heard the strangest thing! A young woman walked by, chattering away on her phone, about nothing of any particular importance it seemed. That wasn't unusual - we see that all the time. However, she was talking to her boyfriend/husband - who was following along about 20 feet behind her! Now I can almost understand her behavior, because young women seem to look at the cell phone as another accessory! But...what had possessed him?!?

I have the answer to my own question: he was a victim of something called "iPhone envy"! Apple is famous for many things, not the least of which is the iPod, but I submit that they completely changed civilization when they dropped the iPhone on us! That young man had one, and he was so proud of it that he was willing to embarass himself in public! When he found out that others in his crowd had one, he was lost forever! No shame or embarassment could deter him

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