by Erin Cole

Created on: April 23, 2009   Last Updated: April 24, 2009

Most of today's parents have full schedules beginning in the morning and ending somewhere close to or past children's bedtime. That amount of juggling is a definite distraction to the emotional needs of children. It is every parent's goal to take care of their children physically, mentally, and emotionally, but I think it is erroneous to believe that most parents are aware of their children's emotional needs on a daily basis. If this seems alarming to you, consider these factors: the biological and developmental challenges of emotional maturation, abuse alcohol, sex, physical, and drugs, divorce, and the isolations created by technology computers, I-pods, video games, and television just to name a few. When you consider these factors and several others not mentioned here, such as sickness and death, there are few households in America not struggling with some challenge that will or has become an obstacle in parents' ability to be aware of their children's emotional needs.

Maturation is a difficult time for children, from birth to early twenties. When children are young, it isn't just difficult for them to express themselves effectively, but improbable for the most part because their brains have not fully developed. Putting emotions into coherent thoughts and then using a vocabulary to support them is unlikely. Most adults still have difficulty articulating their emotions and expecting this from a 3-year-old is an inappropriate expectation. Addressing the root of tantrums, fears, anxieties, and a hoard of other scary emotions is a difficult challenge for parents, but the continuation, frequency, and transformation of these emotions as children age often complicates matters further. Then as children get older, reaching a developmental age when they are able to start expressing themselves more clearly, suddenly they may not want to as they start to desire independence and/or become more embarrassed, intimidated, and confused about what they are feeling and thinking.

Another hindrance in assessing children's emotional needs is the millions of households in America suffering with some type of abuse: drug, alcohol, physical, or sexual. The percentages of drug and alcohol abuse alone are staggering and many of the sufferers are parents. Is it possible for parents to be aware of their children's emotional needs if they have alcohol and/or substance abuse problems? What about the rise in divorce rates? Together, these are enormous obstacles parents face and what must

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