by Deb Longley

Created on: April 23, 2009   Last Updated: April 24, 2009

Very few of us lead a pain-free existence. Those that do, well, they don't. Pain is as common to the human experience as joy, love, fear, and anger. It is a necessary component to our existence; meaning, that we cannot exist without it. Because I have not yet defined pain, the reader may be inclined to argue. That's O.K., because I could be wrong. But I don't think so.

Pain comes to us in many forms. Some of these are assigned to us at the moment of our conception. If you happen to be forming in the womb of a woman whose life is being lived in a state of abject poverty, whose family is on the brink of starvation, whose surroundings are dangerous and unhealthy, then your life is being defined for you before you enter the world. It does not determine your outcome, but it does ensure that you will become well-acquainted with specific forms of pain. As you grow, you will almost certainly encounter other forms of pain as well, and these will be what come to you of your own doing. Choices you make (to gain advantages, to hurt others, to overcome prior hardships, to take risks with life and limb) will result in new pain. But, because we are talking about you, a human life, these choices will also result in joy, love, fear and anger. And if you look at that list of human emotions, you will see that no one is more precious than the others.

Imagine, if you will, a life without fear. Is that possible? Does not fear help to keep us alive? Imagine the human community without love. Or without peace, or joy. Can we put one foot in front of the other if we cannot count those as part of our daily experience as human beings? Is it any wonder that so many people who are bankrupt in those emotions choose to end their lives? Do joyful people commit suicide? Conversely, can we live without the capacity to anger, or to feel pain? Without the capacity to feel pain, empathy is impossible. Without anger, we cannot be moved to challenge injustice. Our emotions, in balance, make us complete human beings. Out of balance, regardless of where those imbalances lie, we are handicapped. We become unable to interact with our world in a meaningful way, and we are then marginalized by the greater community, and rightly so.

Pain is a teacher, joy a reward. Anger is an awakener, peace brings rest. Fear is a guardian, and love is the goal we share all over the world. We cannot pry these experiences from one another, and we try to do so only at our peril. Tennessee Williams, in his introduction to A

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