This topic touched my heart with a speed of lightning. "I wish my father could understand". A statement I found my best friend saying almost every other day. Here's why....
She's from a rich family. Her parents gave her the best education they could afford. They taught her to think modern and did not allow any negative ray touch her. She literally grew up in a fairyland. She knew no pain and did not know how cruel the world can be. She decided to complete high school staying at a hostel. Her parents ruled it out almost immediately. She was a stubborn gal, she got what she wanted. Excited about the change in the final year, within a month she found herself seriously involved with her boyfriend. Things couldn't get better, so she thought. Her scores started diving and almost hit rock bottom. She was made so conscious about her looks and her boyfriend belittled her all the time. Just like Marilyn Monroe's low self-esteem, she started to develop a similar taste. It went to the extent she refused to look at herself in the mirror and she would make cut marks on her wrist cursing herself for the way she was becoming. Her parents grew extremely worried and forced her to breakup with her boyfriend. She said she did, but never really did.
The worst thing happened to her short of the finals. Her boyfriend got what he wanted. Innocence was paid at a heavy price for her. She "did" it because he wanted "it". In the very same evening, when he went out for a smoke, she turned his laptop on from "sleep" mode to check her mail. She realised his e-inbox was not signed out. As her mouse hovered over the sign out button, she happened to notice a certain Tara's sequence of emails. She had heard that name before....her boyfriend's ex. Curiosity got the better of her and she opened the emails. She froze at the sight of the first mail she opened. Snaps of Tara....totally undressed, where she posed as a professional...disgusted my friend scrolled down the email and the other pictures attached became more and more detailed. She quickly went back to the inbox and opened the Sent mail folder to only see tonnes of emails back and forth her boyfriend and his ex. They were not a past relationship. It was very much alive. Silent tears washed down her eyes as she signed out of her beloved boyfriend. A million thoughts crossed to her mind and the sudden realisation of what she "lost" a few hours back almost killed her. She threw up and went hysteric. She cried her eyes out and when her boyfriend returned he was shocked! He didn't know what had happened. When the truth unwound, he said his ex was far more attractive than her, and yes he never let go of Tara for over the past couple of years....
It's weird when a person who has known no grief gets treated like dirt all at once. She started smoking heavily and every once awhile her habit of cutting her arms grew deeper. To her the pain caused by the cut served as a distraction to forget the pain caused by her boyfriend. She threw up every meal she had and never slept. Overcome by self-loathe, she tried to get back to the guy who ill-treated her. She entered companionship of the wrong sorts and eventually was "used" by her new so-called friends.
Battled out and broken, definite on the road to death; she gave up all hope and avoided her parents at all costs. She knew she was now not the girl she had been. She felt like a curse treading the face of earth slowly considering suicide as her saviour.
Having cut-off from all forms of sanity, she stumbled upon a stranger and acted out very mean. He looked at her and said nothing. "Was he deaf?", she asked herself, as she continued dissing him with all the worst possible words. She even went up to the extent of poking fun at his manhood and expected a definite reaction from the stranger. He looked at her and said, "are you done?" Raged, she raised her hand to throw the bottle she was holding, but she collapsed.
She found herself in a hospital and couldn't understand what was happening. She fainted again.
Through out the next couple of weeks, the stranger turned out to be her only friend who had no desire for her. He was curious how a girl could end up so wasted, but he never asked her. With time they became the best of friends and when the past dark secrets were out, she found herself testing her new found friend.Would he accept her if he knew what she was like a few months back?
Time flew by and with the end of three years they were totally inseparable. She raced high in her career life and put her past away for good. She had changed from the bad to the best. The worst had to come when she had to tell her parents about her love.
All along in the past she had portrayed herself as elegant as always to save her parents the misery of what she had been through.When she opened up to her parents with the past, she ended her say with her intension of marrying her partner.
Parents were totally destroyed, they put up a drama as though the world had collapsed. Her father, a very powerful man, said he'd never allow his daughter to go against the family tradition and that she had to marry the guy he chooses for her. Woe was him that she was already so impure.
She had heard enough when her father's doctor had confirmed that he had entered the danger zone as far as his health was concerned. Her father was smart, he started playing mind games with her and made sure she broke up with her boyfriend.
To date, my friend is with her man and to date her father thinks she's single. She's stuck between two worlds.
So she says everyday -"I wish my father could understand....understand everything I had been through and how I've come clean".