by Lauren Ice

Created on: April 23, 2009

After all the planning and stressing, you are finally done. All dressed and standing in the the door at the back of the church, you look out and see the faces of everyone you know and love. It's silent for a moment and then the music starts to play. As you walk down the aisle towards your new life, you can't help but notice all the smiles and tears of your guests. Just weeks before you were sitting in your pajamas on your couch deliberating on where to seat all of these people. Which is the bride's side? How do I separate my college roommates who now hate each other? When determining ceremony seating consider these things:

1. Understand the layout of your location. If you are marrying in a church, draw the layout. If there is a large sanctuary there may be multiple sections and aisles. What will you do with the extra sections? Your ceremony may be on a beach, in a ballroom, or on a boat, if it is someplace non-traditional you have more options with seating. Draw the layout of the space and get creative. If you are setting up chairs, have an accurate count, and then add 20 extra chairs to your arrangement.

2. Identify any seating "issues". If your parents are divorced or you have feuding relatives this becomes tricky. If your future spouse's parents are also divorced you can consider having a mom side and a dad side as opposed to the traditional bride/groom sides. While most people will put their issues aside to attend your wedding, those issues may arise if they are placed in too close of a proximity. Discuss your worries with your parents prior to the event to gain perspective on where they would prefer to sit. The parent who primarily raised you, sits in the front row, while the other parent sits in row three, unless they get along well and do not mind sitting on the same row.

3. Consider tradition. Seating etiquette differs depending upon religious faith. In a Christian wedding the brides side is on the left (when standing in the back of the church) and the grooms side is on the right. In a Jewish ceremony, it is the opposite. The first few rows are reserved for close family, with the first row being for the parents of the bride or groom. Also, elderly guests should be seated as close to the front as possible, and those with disabilities should be seated at the ends of the rows. The Bride's Mother is always seated last.

4. Use your Ushers. Meet with your ushers prior to the ceremony to alert them to any specific seating issues. Discuss which rows are reserved and for whom. The guests will generally announce if they know the bride or the groom, and may request to sit by others from their side of the family. If no indication is given, the ushers can choose where to seat them.

5. Don't worry. In the end your guests will be seated somewhere witnessing your union. Even with the most carefully planned seating arrangement, people will have their own ideas and may move outside their designated "zone". You won't even notice and will probably not even know, because you will be far too busy marrying the one that you love.

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