by Jeanine Gilbert

Created on: April 23, 2009   Last Updated: April 26, 2009

Everyone has their own threshold limits of pain that can be endured. However, how much is enough? The last big throwing match? The last bruise or broken bone from a little push or shove that you try to hide, from family and friends? The last time you were in the E.R.? What makes this the last straw, that final decision to save yourself, and your children from obvious doom.

Many say it is best to work it out, for the sake of the innocent children. In some cases, marriage can win the odds against them if both parties are willing to work. They may need major counseling to guide them through the dark misery, and drudgery they have both created. However, with time and lots of pain, sometimes they can find each other again, at the end of the tunnel.

This would be a great time to visit Grandma or Grandpa during these trying times, until things get back on track. If you can work on your marriage, and keep your child safe from the yelling, hitting, or screaming at each other then Yes! Give it a Whirl.

Child counselors can be very beneficial with dealing with fears children have during marital distress. It teaches them healthy ways to cope, and release unwanted anger, and redirect it in a positive way. They will know that they are not alone, and most important to know that these problems originate from his parents alone, and he is not the blame.

In many cases, staying in a marriage filled with anger and fear is the worst thing you can do for your child. His home is now a war zone filled with sadness and despair, instead of a safe warm haven a child dreams to come home to.

After twenty years of torment and pain, I finally had the courage to get out. My husband did not hit me physically, but emotionally every day, I was thrashed and beaten. He would make public scenes, and at home to with my neighbors, calling me foul names, and making me feel like a tiny piece of dirt.

I was so embarrass to go back outside worried of what they might think. It made him feel like a real man I guess, to take every dignity I had left. He had control over my life, I guess in retrospect I allowed him. His sarcastic tongue was a razor sharp knife that cut my heart out. My self-esteem or self worth was set at zero.

Having no longer an identity for being an middle aged women, I had no clue to who I was. He had stolen my dreams, hopes, and now my life, and I had no idea how to get them back. I had to learn how to reclaim myself!

Our Marriage counselor asked him to treat me wonderful, and with respect for

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