by Jackeline Vzquez

Created on: April 23, 2009

How not to be Happy not to be Happy

Happiness is one of those things that everyone wants but seems to elude many of us. It really is not difficult to achieve but to get to this state of mind serious changes have to occur. Since change is often more difficult than not somehow we prefer to stay in our unhappy state rather than change and be happy. Let's for fun, focus on recipes for unhappiness;

First and foremost let us pump up all of our faulty thinking that gets us nowhere. One of my favorite faulty thinking patterns is making completely unfounded assumptions for other peoples' actions or responses. This is craziness! "He must have said this because of that therefore he doesn't love me anymore!" We don't even bother to ask the person their reasoning or motive, and yet this unfounded thought has us convinced that the outcome is true. Assuming will definitely keep us unhappy and many times for no reason. If you want to be unhappy this faulty thought pattern will keep you there, assume away.

Another faulty thought pattern is the problem of perfectionism. Not only does this perturb the perfectionist this usually annoys the rest of us who know we are fatally flawed. Perfectionists believe they have to do things perfectly. This gives them a sense of value. If things are not done perfectly they go berserk. Their personal value is derived from how well they do things. This of course is a recipe for misery because, surprise, surprise we are not perfect, and it does not look like we are getting there. They should instead, just relax know that they can do better next time, learn from their mistakes, especially know that they are still valuable and not fret about the inevitable human mistake. Alas why take a load off and be more realistic when everything can be perfect?

Those are just two of the many faulty thinking patterns that keep us in unhappiness. There are though, many other things that we can do to be unhappy. There is people pleasing. I love people pleasers. Thank God I have never been one! This is an extremely tireless, ungracious job, since you can never please everyone and some people will never be pleased (usually perfectionists). Sadly though some people seek to be accepted and loved, by living in this way regardless of what they want, feel or think. It is more important to please others than themselves. This is such a huge trap because these people often deceive themselves into thinking that they are being generous. In reality this kind of behavior stems from

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