by Suja

Created on: April 22, 2009

Frozen Seas and Life

Kafka describes writing as "taking an axe to the frozen seas within"

That got me pondering over a lot of things in the world that I see, hear, visualize, act on and slowly becomes such a part of me. Survival, desires, wants, needs, passion, love, religion, family, society, heroism, courage, loneliness, happiness, contentment, spirituality and purgatory. So simple in definition yet so complicated when coming to articulating them in words to embellish them with the right meaning and earthly hues.

There are the thinking, feeling, and philosophizing people and then there are the free-spirited people who go about life who don't let anything bother them on the onset, but take each day as it comes and live it. Then there are some like me who have to scrutinize everything, dissect it and analyze it and make a living hell for myself, when I could simplify things and go on living like others do.

Why do I feel the need to chip the ice and lay it bare at times and at times preserve it frozen within for posterity? Often times the tidal waves of the sea within becomes all-consuming and gnaws at my thoughts, while at times I am as blithe as the butterflies with the golden sun caressing my wingtips. Then why this necessity to expose the thoughts out on a piece of paper and wait for the ink to dry out eventually?

Not an effort to garner attention to my thoughts or seek voyeuristic translations of my inner core but a need to articulate my innermost seas and calm the ocean tides all on a piece of paper. The happiness in me at times unbridled and feeling blessed to be alive and experiencing all that is called life' in whatever sense or meaning it directs me into understanding. Doing all that I love doing and hoping all my dreams come true in the short span of life'. At times I see with such clarity that my head hurts with the transparency and I wish that I didn't see it all as diaphanous as they appear.

Then there are times of discombobulating and dis-orientations from understanding the very basic philosophy of life. The why' and the why not' that leave me harassed and seeking answers that are not forthcoming. Then I berate myself on thinking too much and outside the box while I could be blissfully living a bovine life and taking each day as it comes. It isn't that I don't understand the constraints of thinking and its limitations or the broader definitions of life and what it entails. The problem is I understand all too well and it weighs heavy on my thoughts.

With

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