by Bill White

Created on: April 22, 2009

I was involved in a situation several days ago that rekindled some thoughts I'd been having over the past few months. I'd like to share what's on my mind.

I had been summoned to an emergency department to do a psych assessment on a woman who just hours before had her suicidal plan interrupted by a police officer. Going in to the case I was aware of what had happened and I'd also been informed the woman was acting upon the influence of the delusion that the FBI wanted her to take her life. Okay, so I'm human, and went into the interview with a preconceived notion as to how the woman would present. Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong. Instead of meeting a woman who was totally disorganized, I met someone who was very much together and just as calm as she could be. I was surprised and most curious, beyond the obligations of the assessment.

Well, after dealing with our first order of business, her earlier suicidal event, we moved on to her delusions. The woman told me she'd been having thoughts of FBI influence upon her life for the past year. She'd been prescribed antipsychotic medicines several times, refusing on each occasion due to concern over side effects and what appeared to be a philosophical matter. She went on to explain she had accepted her delusions as "a part of her" and didn't feel the need to make any changes. I asked if it made any difference that these delusions may well end her life. The answer was no.

From moment one, I internally questioned the validity of the woman's delusional report, believing her issues fell within a different diagnostic section of the stadium. But my opinion aside, for the sake of this article the take-away is the dynamics of her self-acceptance and ownership of what her brain presented to her, even in the face of some pretty severe psychotic symptoms.
Last night I was watching brain surgeries on YouTube. "Livin' la vida loca," aren't I? At any rate, here was this neurosurgeon probing carefully downward into his patient's pulsating brain in an effort to remove a tumor. The anatomy was absolutely amazing. And what was even more amazing was I had a very intimate view at what made this man or woman all he/she is. And I wondered, what would he/she think upon viewing a video of the procedure?

Okay, Bill so let's knot the delusional woman and this pulsating brain. Well, to me, the connection is a matter of self-acceptance and ownership. The delusional woman accepted and owned her delusions and we all have the ability and authority

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