Troubled relationships happen for a large number of reasons. Sometimes life just takes over and a husband and wife no longer connect. Other times things happen in the process of life that make it hard to continue the relationship. However, even the most troubled of relationships can be rebuilt into great relationships that will endure the rest of time.
Commitment.
Often times whether a relationship makes it or not has a lot to do with the commitment of both parties. Both people in the relationship have to be committed to working on it. It isn't enough for one person to be determined to make it better. This commitment isn't always easy to get, but is necessary to begin the healing and growing process.
Communication.
Most people know that communication is a huge part of a good relationship, but it is the key to going from a troubled relationship to one that is good and strong. Often times it is hard to begin positive communication when their are a lot of emotions involved. This makes it a good idea to get a marital counselor. This person will act as a mediator to keep communication positive and help you talk through the things that both parties need to talk to. This type of settings also help to keep emotions under control and limit the amount of screaming that you will do toward one another. Often it is easy for emotions to get high and screaming to begin which usually only hurts the other person more.
Understanding Love.
Most of us toss the word "love" out a lot. We say, "I love this ice cream", "I love you", "I am in love with you", and even "I think I am falling out of love with you". While we use the word love often, most of us don't have a good definition of love. Learning a good definition of love can often make a huge difference as to how you look at the other person. First of all, love can't be based on emotions or how you feel right this second. After all, different events can make you feel differently toward a person. When we are mad it is often easy to forget that we love that person. Love should be unconditional based on a connection with a person. It shouldn't be connected to the things that they do because it is about caring for them. Sometimes hurt and anger can crowd our view, but love isn't something that just disappears over time. Touching the real meaning of love can often help get things into perspective.
Falling "in" Love Again.
Many people in troubled relationships often come down to the statement, "I am not in love with you anymore". When we view "in love" we are usually talking about the emotional status that feels so great in a relationship. Often this fades with time and many don't even realize why. To fall in love again a couple needs to remember what attracted them together in the first place. They need to take time to do some of the things that you used to enjoy, go out on dates, and remember that love is deeper then the feeling, but the feeling feels very good.
Building Trust.
Trust is often something that is very important to a healthy relationship. It isn't always easy to keep though. Whether trust is lost because of something someone did, didn't do, or even said it takes time to build it back up. This requires both parties to be understanding and patient. Often it is a matter of time to heal the pain before the trust can be there again.
Time.
No matter what caused your relationship to become troubled, building it back up is going to take time. There will be times when it doesn't feel like it is going in the right direction and other times when it feels like it is wonderful. If you are both working on it, it will happen, but it will also take time.
Rebuilding a troubled relationship takes work, but it can be done. Often it takes time to fix the things that went wrong, lots of communication, and even some self-evaluation. Commitment to the process is necessary, but once you have that it is easier to work together for a better future. Divorce doesn't have to be on the horizon, instead you can find your way back to the vows you made and mean them.