by Brean Schell

Created on: April 22, 2009

The idea that sexual orientation can be selected either consciously or unconsciously is both insulting and degrading on several levels, for the implications and the reality of sexuality. The attitude that a man can turn a lesbian straight is as absurd, as is the idea that a bad relationship with a man can turn a straight woman gay. There are very few homosexuals in the world today that would choose the stigma, ostracisation, violence and rejection that comes hand in hand with being something other than heterosexual.

It is true that women joke and play on the idea that they "may as well give up on men and try women", but the reality is, that even if these women do go as far as to experiment with another woman, they haven't been "turned". Bisexuality is just as much a reality as homosexuality and heterosexuality, but should not be confused with either one. A woman or man who enjoys sexual intimacy with both sexes is bisexual, and may be able to decide if they want a relationship with one or the other. A homosexual is unable to form lasting, honest, meaningful sexual relationships with someone of the opposite sex. Heterosexuals are also unable to form similar relationships with someone of the same sex. It would be like asking a person to somehow form an emotional, lasting bond with a rock.

That the relationship between to women is more stable and loving than a heterosexual relationship is just as narrow minded an argument as the idea that a man can 'turn' a woman. Men are capable or love, just as much as women, and women are just as capable of physical and emotional abuse as men. The success of a relationship has nothing to do with the gender of the people in the relationship, but the people themselves; their personality, their compatibility and their generosity.

If a straight couple were told that their relationship is less emotionally valid than a lesbian relationship, ten to one they would be just as insulted as a lesbian couple who were told that their relationship hinged on the treatment of women by men in their society. Further, any lesbian told that they are merely waiting for the right man will look at you like you've fallen off the evolution band-wagon. It is an outdated, disproven idea that only serves to emotionally stabilize a persons psyche following a real or perceived rejection.

Straight women are not going to become lesbian because of a man (or woman), nor is a lesbian going to become straight because of a woman (or man). Sexuality is not fixed, but it also cannot be changed consciously. Ask any homosexual who has been a victim of violence or social rejection if they've ever tried to "fit in" and be straight, or change what they are to save their lives.

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