Weddings are a time of excitement, joy, hope, and merriment. It is quite easy to get swept up in the enjoyment of it all. The bride and groom are planning their impending wedding and brightly colored future and have nothing but the best of intentions, when suddenly they can be thrown off their happy path and into some unanticipated issues. Consider the engagement one of the happiest moments you will have until the actual wedding day. There is a lot that goes into planning a wedding, some of which can be troublesome.
It all starts with the ring. Family, friends and even strangers are so very happy for you when you get engaged. Everyone wants to inspect the ring and buy you a drink. It all seems so perfect. Within a few hours of hearing the big news, those very same people will start hounding you for a set wedding date and location. This should be left to the bride and groom to discuss privately, but family and friends will give their thoughts on the matter. They will want to tell you what works for their schedules and when and where their wedding was, all thinking they are giving you valuable advice. Smile and listen and as soon as you and the groom are alone and ready, pick your own time and place. If your hearts are set on an outside wedding, don't let your mom convince you to have it at church. If you always dreamed of a church wedding, when your best friend tells you how perfect her beach wedding was, simply tell her that's not for you. For any Catholics out there, Catholic priests cannot marry a couple outside of the church. Just something to keep in mind before you start dreaming of a garden Catholic wedding. You must remember this is your day and you must look back on the memories and be happy with it all.
One place where you are sure to hurt or even anger a few people would be in choosing the wedding party. The bride and groom must decide together how many people will be on each side. This should be another private decision. Once the number has been determined, those people should be asked. Word will get around quickly that the wedding party has been chosen, and then be ready for the unchosen to either complain to your face or complain behind your back. Many people will feel they are close enough to you to be invited to be in the wedding, but remember, this is your decision. Do not feel guilty and ask people just to make them happy.
Now that you have your bridal party, it is time to choose the dresses they will wear. Taking only your maid/matron of honor with you to help is probably best. Everyone will have an opinion, once again, and it will be difficult to get anything accomplished with a bunch of opinionated girls in your ear. It is best, however, to consider the size and shape of all your girls. You don't want any of them to feel terribly uncomfortable in the dress you choose. One option many brides are going with now is they are choosing the color and material and letting their bridal party choose the cut and style that would make them the happiest. This way your sure to have a smiling group of ladies when the flash bulbs go off. Just one thing to consider when it comes to color. If you're looking into navy blue, think ahead to how this may look with the tuxedos. Some people don't mind black and blue together, while others cringe.
When it is time to shop for the bridal gown, basically the same rules apply. Only a few people should attend. Perhaps you would want your maid/matron of honor and your mother and/or grandmother. The future mother in law is optional. Gage that on your relationship and whether or not you truly want her there. No invites just to make her happy. The idea is that this dress is a secret until the actual wedding day. You may have people asking if they can come shopping with you or peek in on a fitting, and it may be tempting to say yes. It's always nice to hear how beautiful you look, however, try to resist. The wedding day will be much more momentous if people don't know what you will be wearing. It saves that element of surprise. Make sure you choose a gown you are comfortable in no matter what size you plan to be. Most brides swear they will lose weight for their weddings, and many never do. It is best to find a gown you are happy in the day you first put it on, then if you lose weight, it can be taken in and you will still feel great. No bride needs the pressure of having to lose weight to fit into her dress.
Bridal veils can be one of the most shocking items when putting together your attire. First of all, they are very pricey. They can be in the hundreds of dollars, so plan ahead. They also come in so many different varieties. You must consider color, shape, material and how you plan to wear your hair. Many brides leave the veil purchasing until the last minute and find out all of these issues and give up on it altogether. So, if a veil is important, start looking early. If you do find one, and it has a veil sewn to a headpiece, ask the dress shop to remove the veil and attach it back to the headpiece with some Velcro. This way you can leave your headpiece on (and not disturb your hairstyle) at the reception without the veil. Also, do not drastically change your hair color or cut just before the wedding. It does seem like common sense, but many brides do this in the chaos of it all. It almost never goes well.
Now something for the bride and groom to do together. Choosing your photographer can be exciting and frustrating all at the same time. This job takes quite a bit of leg work if you want just the right person for you. This is a time you should ask people for recommendations and actually make appointments to go meet with each candidate. There have been some frightening stories with photographers and weddings, and you will want to avoid being one of them. In your meetings make sure you see sample work and fully discuss package prices, as many are very pricey. Many photographers have set up packages for weddings and you choose what works for you. They may differ in how long the photographer is with you on the wedding day, how many pictures he will snap and how many you get to choose without extra fees added on. It is important to find out if your pictures will be on line, and how guests may order prints. You may want to know how many assistants he will have on the wedding day. If there is an assistant or two, it makes picture time run much more smoothly. This is not a place to skimp. Pictures (and video) will be all you have after the wedding. Make sure you get the most bang for your buck.
Another job for the bride and groom together is tracking down guests. As unpleasant as it may be, you have to contact the invited guests that never responded. If it's only a handful of people, you may get by with your caterer without knowing an exact head count. If it's more than three or four, you're going to have to get on the phone, not only for the food preparations, but also for your seating arrangements. You don't want people showing up and not having a place to sit, or worse, stealing someone else's seat. Avoid this issue, and call these disrespectful people and get a yes or no answer.
Planning the honeymoon can be more exciting than the actual wedding in some cases. Not many people interfere in that. The most important thing to consider with this trip, is when you actually want to leave for your destination. Many weddings are held on Saturday afternoons and the party goes on well into the night. If you make plans to fly or drive off first thing Sunday morning, you may be sorry. Think about giving yourself an extra day to get cleaned up, take care of wedding gifts and get properly packed for your trip. This way you don't lose the first day at your destination to being completely exhausted and run down. Giving yourself an extra day between the wedding and your trip allows you to arrive at your honeymoon spot awake and ready to fully enjoy wherever you are.
Now go ahead and get started. There are many things to do. Many more than listed here, such as choosing flowers, DJ's, and limos. Most of these won't give you many problems. Now if you keep these hints in mind for the rest, you will make to your wedding day in one piece. Congratulations!