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Memoirs: Being widowed under the age of 40

by Ann Palmieri

Created on: April 21, 2009   Last Updated: December 19, 2009

"Til death do us part."  I thought that would be fifty years from the time that I said it.  My "forever" only lasted one year. I was widowed at the age of twenty-two. My life has been filled with both joy and sorrow. In one year, I had graduated from college, married, had a child, and became a widow! I learned that life is a "blue screen" upon which we project our decisions...decisions which move our lives in many directions.

I met Ronnie the summer of my junior year at college. He was the production manager of the newspaper office where I wanted a job. I wore a pretty pink checked dress that I had made to the interview. I created quite a stir I later learned. While I was waiting, man after man came down the steps in front of me, turned into a cubby next to me, bought a soft drink and bounded back upstairs. I didn't count them, but I was beginning to wonder if there were any women working in this office. I didn't know that this office produced two air force newspapers as well as our local weekly one. There must have been 20 air force men in that office on that particular day!

One of those men was my husband to be; he stood out from all the rest because of his dark auburn hair. The editor of the paper had called him in to meet me. This hunk of a man with red hair was going to be my boss, and he was single! Our romance lasted for six months; finally in December, we stood together in front of a minister for our wedding vows. I cried all the way through the ceremony because we were told in November that Ronnie had melanoma, a deadly form of cancer. Of course, young people tend to go on as if nothing had happened, and in February, we found out we were going to have a baby in September!

Ronnie came to my college graduation all smiles. He was so proud of me. I was the first in his family and my family to graduate from college. I was 22 and Ronnie was 27. He had spent the last several months fixing up our little home for the baby. I felt like the rest of my life was going to be a dream; I was Cinderella and I had found Prince Charming. We had so much fun those first few months after graduation; then reality set in and my life became a blur.

One afternoon, Ronnie helped his sister put in some post holes for a new fence; the heat caused him to have a mild heat stroke, or so we thought. After several visits to the VA hospital, we were told that his "stroke" was a mole on his brain. It had to be removed! I can remember sitting in the waiting room as the doctors

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