by Jennifer Eblin

Created on: April 21, 2009

A few weeks ago a male friend of mine found an article that detailed how men who were too nice could actually lose out on relationships. As he was the stereotypical nice guy, the idea itself concerned him. The majority of his female friends were quick to point out that it wasn't necessarily true and many of them had actually married a nice guy. I took the opposite side of things and told him point blank that there is such a thing as being too nice. To make my point, I told him about a guy that I once dated.

The guy was the typical nice guy, the one that every mother wants to see their little girl end up with. He held open doors, paid for our meals, called me to see how my day was going, all of the things that women want from a man. I was just coming out of a bad relationship and made it clear that I wasn't sure I could handle a serious relationship. He agreed whole heartedly and then managed to throw himself fully into my life. It got to the point where I turned off my phone at night just to get some time to myself.

He was a nice guy, but he was too nice. He was always the classic example of why the nice guy usually doesn't get the girl. We all see the movies where the nice girl and nice guy end up together. Or we see the girl leave the cad because she realizes that the nice guy is her perfect match. We usually forget the Duckie characters, the men who are nice, but never seem to actually get the girl of their dreams.

The reason why the nice guy doesn't always get the girl is because of the chase or the way they play the game. The truth is that women want to be chased, but they also like to do the chasing. Having a man call every day or every hour gets to be a bit much. We need our own space and want to do a little chasing. If you're always making the next move and doing all the chasing, we get bored and long for something different.

The stereotypical nice guy doesn't get the girl for that very reason, he's boring. The nice guys with a bit of an edge are the ones that do get the girl. They might be nice on the outside, but they also have that dark side or edge that shows there's something else going on. He's a nice guy on the surface and a stallion in the bedroom. He calls, but he also lets her call him. He makes her a part of his life, but also has his own life. The only way the nice guy can get the girl is by showing that he has a little bit of an edge.

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