by Michelle Paszkowski

Created on: April 21, 2009

I wish more than anything that two wrongs did make a right. I am the first to admit that getting back at someone who has wronged me would feel aweful good, at least for the first few hours, maybe days. Then I would have to question my actions. If someone hurts me on purpose just to be able to say they did it, then what would I become if I sank to that person's level? Most people that purposely do wrong toward others are out to get revenge. They may revel in the deed for a while, but only as long as you allow it to affect you.

Everyone at some point in their life has done something cruel to get back at someone. I'm pushing honesty here, the wrong doing only works if the person you get revenge on is actually upset about it. Take for instance my husband's ex wife. They split ten years ago and she is still bent on revenge. She continuously drags us into court, and insists on slandering my husband's name. She does a lot of sneaky nasty things to try and hurt my husband. However, the only thing she accomplishes is making herself look foolish. Instead of destroying our lives, we have actually taken to laughing at her childish antics. We could fight her in court, or argue with her friends about what kind of father my husband is. We could play her game, and we would win. We would make her life awful and drag her through the same mud puddle she has tried to drag us through. But what would it get us?

I don't get mad at her for the things she does, instead I feel sorry for her. After ten years she is still hell bent on trying to get revenge. She spends so much time and effort on trivial little hits on us that she's wasting half of her life and looking ridiculous on top of it. So there is no reason for us to strike back.

When people spend their time and energy on trying to get back at someone it eats up their life. Two wrongs don't make a right, it makes a vicious cycle. How low does a person sink before it comes to light that they are getting no where. I only wish others would take the high road more often. When you enter into a cycle of revenge you not only look like a fool, but you allow the other person to drag you into a game that isn't worth playing. I guarantee it is much more payback to ignore those who wish to do you wrong. When they see that their efforts are in vain and you won't join in the game, they will eventually leave you alone. I always take the high road and live by the old saying " kill them with kindness".

Another avenue if you can't ignore someone's mis-doings, is to call them on it. Shady people can't stand being backed into a corner. If someone hurts you don't hesitate to let them know. Keep it simple and always stay calm in order to maintain the upper hand. But don't be afraid to say it hurt, but you got over it. People who try to hurt others don't want to see that person show the strength to move on from what ever wrong they may have done.

In closing, I am a firm believer in turning the other cheek. If only that would begin a cycle maybe there would be less stress in this already crazy life.

Learn more about this author, Michelle Paszkowski.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.