by Kayla Turner

Created on: April 21, 2009

Back talk and making smart comments are not something most parents are expecting. So how do you deal with it? Children who mouth off to their parent or authority figure need to be handled quickly and in a very specific way. Not dealing with your child properly could result in an extremely problematic child in the future.

How do you tell the the difference from the child just repeating mean phrases, to actually using them for their nasty purpose? Kids who have a great capacity for learning will often pick up on little phrases that often go in one adult's ear and out the other. Having a show on the television that you like might open up a widened vocabulary to your young children, so be aware of what you watch! Chances are that if your child hears a phrase like "You're retarded/dumb" or "That's so gay" they won't quite understand the context. When you hear them use it, you should take them aside and explain that what they said is unacceptable and hurtful. Most children will then comprehend that what they did was wrong. Any further repeating of the phrase should then be punished accordingly. A second offense means consequences on the grounds that the child now knows they are misbehaving.

Back talk- Think of how you treat people around your child. When you disagree with someone, do you try to protest in earnest, or calmly accept what they think? Children emulate their parents, from their favorite colors to the way they treat others. So when your child begins to smart off when you correct them, no yelling or sarcasm allowed! Parents who use sarcasm on their children will find that it often comes back on them later, and for a parent already dealing with sass giving the child more ammunition should not be a method that is considered. You are the disciplinary figure, the parent. While what you say goes without question in your mind, in the child's mind they disagree and are willing to say it. "That's not fair!", "I don't wanna", and "How come?" are going to be phrases that are worn out with use. Sometimes telling a child why they can't do something will be enough to satiate their need to back talk. You will seem more compromising, and fair. That will mean a lot, even to a small child. When I was younger, my stepfather was in charge of assigning chores and he wanted them done a certain way. His way was the way they were done- and I always wanted to know why. Wasn't my way better? Did it really matter how I did it? I was terrible at talking back and questioning him. I did plenty of time- outs and write offs for eventually being fed up at my young age and taking an attitude. By the time my brother reached the age where I became trouble, they had accepted that it was okay to sometimes give an explanation. We were always reminded that he was in charge and what he said went, but It somehow seemed more fair- we got to voice our little opinions.

All in all, every child is different and not every parent can deal with their child in the same way. Experiment and see what works for your child, and learn by trial and error. Just remember that they are people too, easily influenced and in need of strong guidance- so be their to guide them when they need it. If you don't, you will be the one to pay for it when they're a teen.

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