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Couple Communication

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Should a wife tell her husband about her romantic past?

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Yes
49% 470 votes Total: 959 votes
No
51% 489 votes

I have watched countless women represent themselves as having far fewer relationships then they have actually had. It always gives me pause and makes me wonder "Why?". Is this an attempt to uphold the myth that we are all Madonnas, some how pure and chaste? Does it somehow make a difference if this latest love is number 3 instead of number 5 or 15? Or is it simply a female game play? If you really love this man and expect to build a future with him, then why would you include lies and deception in the foundation of that relationship?

In my experience we lie to people for a variety of reasons but mostly because we don't trust them with the truth or because they are children, we may lie to protect them. I would hope that if you have gotten to the point where you are taking off your clothes and being intimate with someone, that you trust them and let's hope you aren't being intimate with children. Which for me eliminates all the reasons there are to lie or omit details that a partner should be privy to.

I would hope you have shared your romantic history with your husband, long before he became your husband, I have always been willing to account for my past. It is part of being open and honest in a relationship. This does not mean that you want to make disclosures about your romantic history on a first date, although there are some general statements that can be alluded to. You may want to get a bit farther into a relationship before you tell all, so to speak. You will want to trust the individual you are telling and you may want to start slow... if any of your personal information gets used in a fight or to put you down or belittle you then that is a huge red flag to move on quickly.

Next you need to listen carefully to the information that is being asked for. Your partner may not need or want numbers or great in depth details of each of your experiences. To overload a person with details they really don't want to hear is abusive and unnecessary. If you listen to and clarify what is being asked you can often save yourself and your partner discomfort. We still seem to have a great degree of discomfort talking about sex with members of the opposite sex. This is unfortunate because we can learn a great deal from our partner if we can openly talk about what they like and dislike and share our own opinions on the topics shared. If your partner is already your husband when you discover he has some major sexual desires that you just aren't up for, it can make for a great


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Should a wife tell her husband about her romantic past?

Yes
  • 1 of 22

    by Jessica Collins

    When my future mother-in-law called me by the name of my fiance's former girlfriend, not once but twice, I was able to laugh

    read more

  • 2 of 22

    by Hannah Barton

    This is a loaded question! What wives tell their husbands, or husbands tell their wives, is of no consequence to anyone but

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No
  • 1 of 30

    by Adele Gregory

    Whether you mean it or not, your spouse can read messages into you discussion of past lovers - messages about his standing

    read more

  • 2 of 30

    by D. Edward Hughes

    In many relationships today, it seems to be irrelevant to dwell on the past in a serious manner. As a matter of fact, this

    read more

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