by Krystle Hernandez

Created on: April 20, 2009

We may all hope for a fairytale romance that includes a "happily ever after" ending, but the reality is that most relationships that we sustain throughout our lifetimes ultimately end. However, the pain of breaking up with someone you thought was the love of your life can be all consuming. This hurtful experience can also taint our future relationships, affecting us for the rest of our lives. Without a doubt, breaking up is hard to do. The difficulty of getting over someone is even more intensified if we dwell on a particularly devastating break up and find ourselves still "loving" someone even after years have gone by. Fortunately, we don't have to succumb to living an empty, lonely life just because we have been broken up with. So, how do you get over someone after years and years of being apart?

Examine your life post break-up.

After a break up, individuals tend to face an emotional rollercoaster that leaves them feeling angry one second, guilty the next, and completely depressed the moment after that. While it may seem masochistic, the reality is that this period of grief is absolutely necessary in order to come to terms with a break up and get over a relationship. If it has been years since your devastating break up and you find yourself unable to get over your ex, then you have to ask yourself whether you ever took adequate time to grieve over the loss of this particular relationship.

Did you jump right into a new relationship after you broke up? Have you found yourself in a string of failed relationships since that break up? Perhaps the break ups that you have endured in subsequent relationships have come about as a direct result of your decision not to grieve or come to terms with your devastating break up. If you never took the time to close those emotional wounds, then it is likely that these wounds have contributed to the failure of subsequent relationships. Take the time, now, to look back on the relationship that has haunted you and grieve for its loss.

Alternatively, some individuals find themselves choosing not to engage in relationships at all after a particularly devastating break up. If this is the case for you, it is important that you ask yourself why it is that you are really abstaining from an attempt to find love again. Do you think that you will reconcile with your ex, even after years apart? Are you afraid to get hurt again? These are personal issues that you must face (and overcome) before you can ultimately find happiness in your romantic

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