by Dawn Hawkins

Created on: April 20, 2009

Abuse in any form is a sick act of control over others. Abuse victims live with more than just the physical scars. There are scar that reach deep down into the soul and rip their lives apart. It isn't easily overcome, however, it can be done. Knowing how to move on after you have been the victim of child abuse will be the most rewarding experience of your life.

Here are a few steps that you can take to free yourself from the chains of being a child abuse victim:

Realization

The most important thing that you can do for yourself is to realize that this abuse didn't happen to you because you did anything wrong. Victims of child abuse often carry a feeling of guilt because they feel they must have been bad in some way. This is far from the truth. No child deserves abuse. There are no other words for that. Children are innocent bystanders that sometimes get caught up in an abusers cross fire. Abusers have control issues. It doesn't matter if the abuse is physical, mental or sexual. The truth is, it's all about control. As a child, there is nothing you could have done that would satisfy the abuser.

Self-Confidence

Abuse victims often have very low self-esteem. In fact, it is inevitable that this will happen to someone who has been repeatedly beaten up or otherwise harmed by people that they should have been able to trust. Building up your self-confidence level will take you to a new level in your life. Three easy steps for doing this are as follows:

1. Look in the mirror everyday and find at least one thing that you like about the image you see. If you don't like your nose, maybe concentrate on your eyes. There is always something to like about yourself, abuse victims don't believe that, but it's the truth.

2. Reach for your dreams. Whatever it is that you want to be, go for it. If you want to be a nurse, enroll in school. Maybe you want to reach a little higher and become a doctor. You won't ever make it if you don't try. Attempting to do the things that we dreamed of builds our self-confidence. Even if we fail at parts of it, we excel in other areas. When you see that you can realize your dream, the thoughts that you have of yourself will soar high above the ground.

3. Stand true to yourself. Don't let anyone tell you who you are. If you stick with your convictions, you will find your way.

Help Others

Become active in helping others through your experience. This has great healing power for you. Volunteering or working in an atmosphere that promotes helping victims of abuse will help your own wounds heal. It is great therapy and is highly advised. You, of all people, know what it's like for these children. This type of help can also be done by aiding adult survivors of child abuse.

It is all in your hands now. As an adult, you are the only one that has the power. Your abuser can only do to you what you allow them to do at this point. If you let the abuse live inside of you forever, you have let the abuser win his/her power struggle over you. When you look in the mirror to find the things that you like about yourself, repeat these words: "I am in control. Abuse has no control over my life. I am a good person and I am going to make a difference in my life starting right now." Children should never be harmed. It is heart wrenching to know that it happens every day. It may be hard to move on, but it is far from impossible. Take the first steps today to recover from the nightmare you once lived.

Learn more about this author, Dawn Hawkins.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.