by CeCe Day Hill

Created on: April 20, 2009

Whether one is curious, caught up in the web of cheating, or in a state of hurt and pain, there are serious reasons behind why we run amok with our relationships in a self-inflicted act of cheating and denial. And yes, it is a two-way street!

Sadly enough men do cheat. Depending on the polls, between 55-70 percent cheat at least once in a relationship. Some are habitual cheaters. The cheating act becomes a game of variety or arousal fueled by an interchange of promiscuous attitudes, ideas, dress, and unresolved baggage from the past.

Cheating makes us a commodity. Liken to a disposable paper plate, one is used, enjoyed as a convenience of the moment, and then discarded. We have served our temporary purpose. Realizing later, one can't do without that plate full of sensual delicacies, the cycle is perpetuated and one is on the prowl for a new plate and the pleasurable gratifications to quench a palatable lust.

From the horse's mouth: "Men cheat because they are inflamed with a sexual desire." - Stimulated by their own inadequacies, the fantasy challenge before them, the pure joy of the chase, revenge or because they can. Someone may have given them attention at a vulnerable time when their ebb tide of emotion was strongest. They are flattered and buy into a romantic fling in order to feel alive again, wanted or needed.

Look around. What has happened to love, fidelity and commitment? A shameful loss of morals: Those moralistic virtues have been trampled by a self-centered societal attitude, lacking self-discipline, good judgment and high character traits.

Why are we so changed? Without "excuses," we have to face the demon of our inner selves and desensitized misconstrued perceptions for the answer. Too many fall by the wayside because it's popular. Everybody's doing it. Others never learned to fully trust in order to understand what it means to be in love. Many don't know how to maintain a loving relationship. While others do not have the "guts" to do what's necessary to maintain and grow within a relationship.

When a man cheats he displays a raw immaturity. He is temporarily getting away with something, and loses an integral part of himself. . .his character. It's easier to cut and run into the unreal enticing destructive world of cheating. . .and grown-up play-land of human toys. A world free of accountability, responsibility and pressure. A world short-lived with serious consequences that only fuels the fires of discontent, making commitment more difficult with each indiscretion, because we choose to see the grass as greener on the other side.

Somewhere along the way the piper must be paid! What will be the price for sensual nights beneath the sheets? Any cheater can tell you of the unbelievable "saga of pain."

For those who choose to love, the challenges will always exist of fighting the residue of foolishness, the self-centered behavior of children and good old fashioned excuses called "crap."

I'll Do Right by You. The magic happens when you and I as human beings unconditionally put the other person's needs ahead of our own in a give and take, continuing to fertilize the relationship with forgiveness, hard work and communication. When that happens two individuals can experience the intangible faithful magical essence of love. . .and the romantic chemistry that beckons the wanton heart privately underneath the sheets for sensual moments in your own back yard, a place called HOME.

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