by Austin Cooper

Created on: April 19, 2009   Last Updated: April 21, 2009

The events in North Korea and in the waters off Somalia reveal how a fat, maniacal man with funny glasses and or a few deranged, sea-faring pirates are able to spellbind America in the age of Obama.

Though many dismiss Kim Jong Il (the slightly large man previously mentioned) as an insane individual, his dismissal of attempts to compromise has proven his skillful con-artistry. For one by one he's played our nation's leaders for fools engaging in a game of kiss-up for the appeasement money and nuclear technology he'd always hoped for. And like the presidents before him, Barack Obama, lost in the world's circus, is running toward that booth where he too can receive Kim's kiss of death.

On Sunday North Korea launched its new, long-range Taepo Dong-2 missile despite the international community's "recommendations" not to. Preceding the launch, it was hotly debated whether a gift basket of DVD's could ease the growing tension. However, after a meeting to access the implications, it seemed likely that the tribute could be confiscated by Somali pirates who after the pathetic screening of "Miss Congeniality" and "Quest for Peace" might be inspired to hijack yet another ship.

Speaking of pirates...have you watched the news lately? If one thing is for certain, the passing of time has seen the loss of their dignity. The previously fabled sea-voyagers of yesteryear along with their dreaded ships, flint-lock pistols, and squawking parrots have been downgraded to pathetic bandits in blow-up boats.

On Wednesday, "pirates" captured the Maersk Alabama as it made its way through the Indian Ocean. The audacity of targeting an American flagship has distinguished this terrorist attack from others nearby. Thankfully, due to the admirable courage of the ship's captain, the crew and the vessel were soon freed. However, an unnecessary naval stand-off has now commenced between the US Navy and the terrorists who are holding the captain hostage.

In the absence of a sound foreign policy, Obama has been compelled to concoct a series of foreign fallacies.

For example, in response to North Korea's provocation, which he condemned with words but without action, Obama made it clear that the United Nations could be depended upon to convince the otherwise unreasonable tyrant. It's rightly wondered as to what previous success he bases his overly-optimistic claim. I guess the UN has been historically "successful" in ignoring genocide and perhaps "successful" in empowering despotic dictators. (Then there was the "successful" study on the effectiveness of condoms which regrettably stopped neither AIDS nor Bill Clinton, hmm.) To rely on the United Nations is to put our country at even greater risk and ultimately greater danger.

Finally, President Obama appointed not missiles or bullets, but negotiators to greet the pirates holding our fellow American hostage. Evidently, a paralysis of military might, which hearkens back to Jimmy Carter's administration, is once again at the forefront of our foreign policy.

Dear President Barack Obama,

Please for one second, forget international opinion. For one second, put your popularity behind what's good for this country. Quit apologizing for America and for all the "wrong" it's committed. Never before has a president been so obliged to wax eloquent to evil men who both despise and destroy everything our country stands for! Enough with your convincing words and flashy photo shoots. It's time to represent the people who elected you and fight against those who intimidate, capture, and kill us!

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