by Dan Stelter

Created on: April 19, 2009

This is another one of those concepts that will probably always be a struggle, to some degree, for each and every person. This article is written with anxiety, a form of fear, and is intended for sufferers of chronic anxiety disorders. For many of the chronically anxious, this is a completely foreign concept altogether. Although the new can be scary at times, this concept is yet another one that is very beneficial for every anxiety sufferer, and particularly for those with social anxiety and generalized anxiety.

Many will hear this phrase for the first time and think, "This sounds like more of that new-age type of garbage that is all dreamy and emotional, but doesn't really work." And those that think this have a legitimate gripe because some of those who are into the new age thing do take this concept to that extreme.

But, here is how it works and how it can and will benefit the anxious person, if the anxious person allows it. Letting Go is the idea that the anxious person begins to cease caring about the outcome of a certain situation. The social anxiety sufferer is often very concerned with social interactions, and in particular tends to blame him or herself for being inadequate, and because of this inadequacy, he or she perceives that no one likes him or her. So for example, if a social anxiety sufferer, with the goal of making friends in mind, talks briefly with another person, and that other person moves on and is not interested in a friendship, the social anxiety sufferer instinctually tends to blame him or herself by thinking, "If I would not have said something stupid that person would be my friend," or, "If I were not so full of flaws I would have more friends."

In many cases, this is simply not the truth; most social interactions fail to work out the way people want them to. There are also a variety of unknown factors constantly occurring that may prevent things from going the way one wants factors such as the other person has a spouse and does not want a boyfriend or girlfriend, the other person is suicidal and does not want any friends, the other person is busy with work and already has the circle of friends he or she desires.

The best thing for an anxiety-sufferer to do, and in particular the social anxiety sufferer in the previous scenario, is to let go
of the outcome. Using once again the previous example of talking to someone in the hopes of forming a friendship, but instead using a thought process that is focused on letting go of outcomes, rather than trying to create specific perceived desirable ones, take a look at how one's thought process now changes: "Hmm. I did not make a new friend as I had hoped. Oh well, that's part of life," or a person might also think, "I wonder why that did not work out. Oh well, best to move on and talk to someone else," and another possible way of thinking of the situation is, "Well, it's that person's loss that he or she did not take the time to pursue a friendship. I am a worthwhile person in my own right."

When thinking turns to a letting go frame of mind, rather than a come on I need this to work frame of mind, one's anxiety reduces. Needing to have certain outcomes places extensive psychological pressure on a person, and this in turn creates anxiety. Conversely, being able to let go and take things as they come, while dealing with any unexpected difficulties leads to a much more psychologically relaxed state. This is the state of mind that all anxiety sufferers seek.

Will this process by itself completely cure one's anxiety condition? No, but it can be a huge factor. It seems that a comprehensive approach to treating anxiety has the most effective results.

Good luck out there to those who continue to work at this issue!

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