by Dan Stelter

Created on: April 19, 2009

Confrontation can be a tough experience, and especially so for those afflicted with anxiety. This article is written particularly with the anxious person in mind.Those afflicted with social anxiety have been extremely anxious about many things, including people, for the duration of their lives in many cases. Following is a brief guide on how to confront anxiety-provoking people, particularly those who are at the same level of power as the anxious person (Being at a different power level means that the person who needs to be confronted is a boss at work or political figure or some other individual along those lines. These people have the power to make others face negative consequences a reprimand at work, firing, or imprisonment etc More about how to deal with those who have more power than the anxious person later).

So, for purposes of this article, assume that the person causing one anxiety is at the same level of power. The person is a chronically obnoxious family member, a bothersome coworker, or a rude patron at a restaurant. What is the best way to handle these people so that they know how they can and cannot treat the anxious person, what behaviors of theirs are bothering others, and what changes they need to make in order for others to respect them?

The starting point for the anxious person is to specifically identify those behaviors which are bothersome and to keep these in mind for later when they must confront the infringing individual.

The next thing the anxious person needs to do is to let go of the outcome. The anxious person, when thinking of a confrontation, begins to imagine all sorts of wild scenarios that are very scary: perhaps the person will just blow them off and walk away; perhaps the person will begin to criticize the anxious person and the anxious person won't know what to say; or, perhaps that other person will begin to scream and belittle the anxious person. In order to reduce anxiety, the anxious person must accept that any outcome, including those previously mentioned, is possible. However, the important part of the scenario is that the anxious person is asserting him or her self and is establishing his or her confidence and stature as a valuable human being, which is critical in the long run. While the other person may not realize or want to accept the error of his or her behavior, it nonetheless must be pointed out if it is harming others. So, the anxious person must simply focus on performing the confrontation and realizing that

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>