by Rebecca K.

Created on: April 19, 2009   Last Updated: April 20, 2009

Why buy the cow when the milk is free right? Perhaps this is the modern-day thought on marriage. Even Beyonce's song, "Put a Ring on It" depicts the female of today and the plight she faces. Now, I'm not blaming men for this, I think it's more of a change in society's way of thinking.

For many couples perhaps cohabitation works best for them. Maybe one or more person was married before and it didn't work out. Perhaps they feel that marriage only complicates things, bogs things down and causes problems. Many men and even women today don't want to feel tied down. They need to be able to make decisions for themselves and if things aren't working out, it's very easy to just leave. No alimony, no divorce lawyers no nothing, just "goodbye."

I have also heard of cohabitation backfiring on folks. I've heard of a middle-aged couple who lived together for more than seven years. This would qualify as a common-law marriage in some states. Well, her boyfriend had a heart-attack and died. His children kicked her out of their home that she helped pay for. According to the state she had no rights. Something like this could happen to you or someone you know. I'd suggest it you do co-habitate, put things in BOTH names and visit a lawyer. You can't be too careful.

This brings me to the other side of the issue: marriage. For me, there was no question. I wanted to get married, have a family one day. I didn't want to be the single mother or 40-something swinger. So when my boyfriend asked me to marry him, I said yes and never looked back.

Some might consider us still newlyweds even though we were married in Aug. of 2006. In today's fast-paced divorce world, I'd say we're well-established. Anyhow, we have good and bad days. Days when we wonder WHY did we get married, but most of the days are good. We each have someone to help make decisions with, we have support. My son has his father who lives with him and influences his life everyday. I know he will always be there for him. There is a sense of security and of belonging.

I will probably always be an advocate for marriage. I'd also want my kids to marry one day, but not because they feel they have to, because they believe in it. There are ups and downs, good and bad. Yes getting married is taking a leap, it's scary but so is loosing everything in an instant. For me I need that stability, but I can't speak for the next person so, do whatever works for you and your situation.

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