by Jennifer Eblin

Created on: April 19, 2009

There once was a time when the thought of dirty talk made me blush and turn 17 different shades of pink. I even dated a man who loved dirty talk, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. He loved the idea of leaving racy messages for each other on our answering machines so I finally stepped up to the plate and did itonce. My fear of talking dirty even carried over into conversations with my friends. Just describing a night with a guy ended up sounding like a lecture by a college professor since I tended to use technical terms to describe the night.

Then I found myself involved with a pseudo-dirty talker. He didn't bring it up often, but he did occasionally let his dark side out to play. He loved sending racy text messages and in the bedroom he had no problem telling me exactly what he wanted to do to me and with me. I sent him messages back, but mine were less racy and even those caused me to blush.

After we broke up, I found myself in dating hell. I bounced from man to man so fast that my friends had spinning eyes and headaches. The breakup was bad, but it also let a hidden side of myself come out to play, especially after learning about the ex's new girlfriend. Suddenly I wanted to be the type of girl who dated guys without feeling embarrassed or ashamed, or wondering if I could get away with saying something sexy. So I became that girl.

I bought my first pair of four inch heels, picked up sexy thongs and started wearing clothes that accentuated my figure. When I finally started seeing someone regularly, I felt sexy. Even better, he found me sexy. He thought I was sexy in those heels and he also thought I was sexy in jeans and a ponytail. Suddenly the idea of telling him exactly what I wanted didn't sound so bad.

The thing about talking dirty is that it's fun! I can leave a racy message on his voicemail, send him a naughty text message or (if I'm really in the mood), shoot off a sexy little picture. The best part is that he thinks it's fun too. He knows exactly what's going to happen when we get together and exactly what to expect, no head games. It's even more fun when we talk dirty, knowing that we won't see each other for awhile. It builds up anticipation and by the time we finally do see each other, it's like we haven't seen each other in weeks, even if it's only been a few days!

Learning how to talk dirty made me feel like a completely different person. No longer do I hide behind my fears and worries. I go for what I want and it makes me feel sexy in the process. Now my friends are the ones trying to keep up with me! I also know that any guys in the future will be lucky to have me. The last guy and I stopped seeing each other, but we stayed close friends. One night he confessed that he thought about my attitude and the dirty talking and that was enough to put him in the mood. Sometimes we even pull out the old dirty talking just for old times sake. That proves to me just how far I've come in the last few years.

Learn more about this author, Jennifer Eblin.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.