by Rick Badman

Created on: April 19, 2009

The man stood outside the house in West Horvennocker in front of the students wearing an environmental suit, gas mask, and a tank with a sprayer strapped to his back. He removed the mask and spoke to the future exterminators.

"Today we will learn how to exterminate all kinds of bugs. Do any of you know the best way to do that?"

"Act like you're in River Dance and stomp on them," suggested one guy.

"Carry two swatters and smack 'em good," suggested another guy.

"Have you go in and do your job," suggested a third guy.

The exterminator glared at the group and said, "Very funny. The third man was close. No, I am having all of you go in and do the job. That is why we have this special test house which Bugs Be Gone uses. It is infested with roaches, silverfish, flies, termites, all sort of bugs that must be exterminated. Why do you think I had you put on those environmental suits?"

"You thought we would look good in loose-fitting plastic suits?" asked another wiseguy.

"Put on your masks and strap on your tanks. We're about to go on a bug hunt," said the exterminator with glee.

The students did as they were asked and followed the man into the house. What they didn't know ahead of time was what exactly lay in store for them. The teacher wanted to keep everyone a little in the dark about what to expect. But there were some things even he didn't expect.

The first things the students confronted were spiders. One of the students began spraying all the webs he spotted with as much insecticide as he could pump out.

"Easy with the spray," said the teacher. "If I had wanted you to drown spiders I would have given you a supersoaker and a bucket of water to reload from. It doesn't take all tha much to get the job done. I want everyone to take a room and see what you can do in them. There are plenty of bugs to go around. I'll check in on you to see how you're doing. Do a thorough job and try not to overspray. The stuff costs too much to be wasting it."

The students separated and entered different rooms to practice their techniques. Some did a good job while a few jokers did some squishing with their feet at hands. The teacher congratulated some and complained about others.

Suddenly, one of the students came racing up from the basement and nearly knocked the teacher over with the door he was about to open. He sounded a bit like Darth Vader when he spoke with the mask on.

"There's something down there," he said in fear as he breathed heavily. "I don't know what it is."

The teacher asked, "Does

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