People are determined to change the person they love out of their own need to be controlling or fear of loosing him or her. While attempting to change their loved one, they neglect to firstly address their own weaknesses in the process. It is so innate to human nature to focus on our loved one's weakness than on our own.

Many people like to dwell on other person's weaknesses, complain about them, and wish that their significant other was different. They usually do this out of their own fear, insecurity, and low-self esteem. However, each one of us has weaknesses and strengths as we are only human beings and as such can not be ideal. Thus, it is much wiser to concentrate on your loved one's strengths and praise him for those rather than focus on his weaknesses.

Below listed are some of the main reasons why people want to change the person they love.

1. They may feel insecure and have low levels of self confidence

We are all human beings with our own and unique imperfections. Yet, some people feel that they are better than others and that everybody should be according to their standards. This can be a real danger or a minefield in a relationship. Some people want to change the person they love out of their own insecurity and in order to boost their low levels of self-esteem.

2. People are simply ignorant about human nature and how it works

It is not rare that people wish and day dream that their partner was a different person. People don't realize that happiness comes from inside and they think that changing their loved one will make them happy. They are wrong. Stubborn insistence on changing your loved one in a relationship demonstrates plain ignorance about human nature and how it works. Love is all about acceptance and focusing on your partner's strengths and praising him for those instead of focusing on his weaknesses.

3. Want to help their loved one stop the addiction cycle

In rare instances, where significant other is an addict, a person may want to change his partner in order to help him partner stop the addiction process. However, change is best and most sustainable if it comes from within the person and not outside of her or him.

4. Don't insist on changing your loved one

If you start wishing to change your loved one and decide to act on it, know that you are very close to losing your loved one. People are naturally resistant to change especially if it is initiated by their closest one as usually they count on this person most for acceptance. Famous saying from Francis Assisi states: "God grant me peace and serenity to change the things that I can change, accept the things that I can not change and wisdom to know the difference."

You can only work on changing yourself and by changing yourself for the better you will automatically positively influence your partner towards change as well. Know that attempting to change the person you love is a risky business.

Learn more about this author, Amela Piric.
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