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Even when a child hasn't asked, however, it's still possible to get a reading on how ready he is, just by finding a way to bring up the the subject of a woman expecting a baby. Most children in this age range will have some questions (as compared to, say, a 20-month-old child who is likely to act "oblivious" to the news).

Once it is clear that a child is capable of understanding that a baby grows inside a woman, the "extra information" that not all women who have babies raise them can seem like "just more information" to the very young child. When a child has been given this information as soon as he is capable of understanding it, he will grow up feeling as if he's "just always known". Keep in mind that being told young enough to grow up feeling as if he's "just always known" is a very different thing from growing up feeling as if he's "always being told". One well timed, initial, discussion (when a child is old enough to remember it), followed by answering questions as they arise; can be one good way to prevent a child from growing up feeling he's "always being told".

Keeping things simple and age-appropriate can keep the information from being of the variety that requires a lot of processing. Follow-up questions can be addressed when they arise.

A simple, early, approach to telling a child he's an adopted child can lay a basic foundation on which more information can be shared, as the child reaches different developmental stages that call for different types of information.

When you look at the face of the tiny child you love every bit as much as you would love a child to whom you gave birth, it can seem as there is will never be a "right" time to share information you fear could hurt him in some way. Sometimes it helps to keep looking at that sweet, trusting, face and ask yourself if you ever want to lose that trust your child has in you. When told early enough, and in a way appropriate for a young child's age, the truth doesn't have to hurt.

Learn more about this author, Lisa H Warren.
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