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Satire: Barack Obama

by Kayme Moon

Created on: April 18, 2009

Barack Obama is, by far, one of the worst presidents in United States' history. He entered a country with a crumbling economy, financial issues abound, a war with questionable motives, and a failing educational system, among countless other things. Obama is clearly not up for the job and by far one of the worst men I've ever seen take the position. After all, what has changed? Nothing. He's had how long now? Oh, a month or two in office, and nothing has changed. I'm disappointed. I'm an American, and I have an unusually strong desire for instant gratification. I'm not getting it. We're only a few trillion dollars in debt, honestly, how long does that take to fix? If I were president, I could easily get that fixed within a few days, then focus on the more important things like NASCAR and lowering the taxes on alcohol.

Obama's policies are also faulty. He's acting as though there are huge issues that need to be addressed in America. I fail to see the problems here. People say that the economy is failing and that we're going into a depression. I don't think so! I can still drive my over-priced gas-guzzling SUV and use that as a gateway to complain about my gas bill, so I think we're doing just fine. People are only losing their jobs because they're unfit to carry the position. Businesses are going out because they don't know how to manage money, this isn't any widespread fault. We're still doing fine. Obama is trying to spend all this money. What's he trying to do, fix the economy or something stupid like that? Figures we'd get a president wasting our time on trivial issues like the economy and war.

And school, let's not forget about school. Why should we try to improve our education system? We're doing just fine as it is. Why all this worry about falling behind in the world? Look, as long as we know how to make nuclear weapons and point them at other countries we've got nothing to worry about. We're not going to fall behind, and our kids are still getting the same old learning as usual, which is just fine.

Obama also wants to stop the war. I don't see why we should. We're fighting terrorists that would otherwise be here crashing into our buildings, attacking our children and eating our kittens and puppies. The only reason the world is at peace right now is because we have countless troops over in other countries killing civilians and blowing up buildings. Isn't it obvious that the only way to have peace is to subdue others through military means?

Overall this guy doesn't know what he's doing. He's had weeks now to get rid of our debt and problems. It only took eight years to build up to this point, which isn't even a problem anyway, if he hasn't been able to fix them by now, then he's useless and needs to go. Where's Palin when you need her?

Learn more about this author, Kayme Moon.
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