by Dossie M Terrell

Created on: April 18, 2009   Last Updated: May 14, 2012

Words like "I hate you" are as deleterious as cobras and as resounding as echoes in the psyche. The mind tends to replays them again and again., especially if they are from someone you love and respect. Cruel words can damage the soul of a person.

Speakers of callous words usually have an intent or an objective; therefore, the question becomes what do they seek to accomplish? Some use harsh words in an attempt to motivate without knowing very much about the psyche of those they seek to spur to action. There have been situations where little league coaches have gotten tough with the little  guys on their teams without realizing the vulnerability of some of the children who took to heart the insensitive words. Some youngsters went so far as to committed suicide, while others, unable to go tit-for-tat with their coaches, took their aggressions out on some other unsuspecting peers. These episodes show that the intent of harsh words can often have the opposite effect.

There is some truth in the adage "It's not what you say, but how you say it." Often it is how words are spoken rather than the impact of the actual words. There are ways to say just about anything without denigrating another, but it takes tact and diplomacy. When I worked in management, it was often my distasteful responsibility to say things to folks I never thought I could say, such as telling seemingly intelligent adults to tend to their personal hygiene more frequently. Those could have been occasions I could have caused great emotional damage to the individuals, especially when I discovered two of the three had medical issues. It is important to think before insensitive words are spoken.

Unkind words can demean, which is made worst if folks are coping with low self esteem. For those with low opinions of themselves, abrasive words may seem like self-fulfilling prophecies and can have a paralyzing effect; they victimize these folks in ways they may never rise above it. Many children who were reared in abusive homes have such tendencies and many without serious therapy, they go through life believing they can never measure up to others.

When speaking to others, always think about your words and treat them as you would treat bullets. Once they leave your mouth they can never be retrieved. Just like a gun, your words have the power to kill the spirit of another. Therefore, the next time you are angry and have the urge to let someone have it, or you believe if your yell at the young ones it will get them moving in the right direction, think before you do it. This may be only one occasion, but if you use deadly words, they may haunt that individual for a lifetime.

Every individual has a responsibility to treat others, even their children, as they wish to be treated and to choose his or her chosen words wisely during discourse.

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