by Ann E. Smith

Created on: April 18, 2009   Last Updated: February 18, 2010

Is your husband or boyfriend cheating on you? Does he seem distracted and distant lately? Is he giving you the cold shoulder, and acting different than normal?

If you are concerned that your significant other is cheating, you may have reason to be. What you also need to realize is that many people have affairs from their own studies at home while their spouses are in the other room. They are engaged in emotional cheating. And it can happen with someone they have never even met in person.

* What is emotional cheating?

Emotional cheating occurs when someone who is in a committed relationship forms a strong emotional bond with another person. It can often start in the workplace. Two people are on many of the same projects. Their conversations initially revolve around work. However, over time they evolve to far more personal topics. Soon they find they are divulging more to each other than to their spouses.

Increasingly, though, emotional affairs are taking place over the Internet. Facebook is a breeding ground for them. Someone finds an old boyfriend from 20 years ago, and is curious to see how he is doing. Perhaps an email conversation ensues.

Now, if both parties in this new email conversation are in unhappy marriages, looking for a bit more attention and remember a strong attraction back in their high school days, an emotional affair may quickly develop. The two may never consummate a physical relationship. Perhaps they feel that would be far more wrong, and they also live across the country from one another.

Yet as the friendship evolves and grows, the two former flames may find they are increasingly looking to one another to have their emotional needs met. Simultaneously, they are emotionally distancing themselves from their spouses.

These two people may not think they are cheating, but they are. They are having an emotional connection that their respective spouses know nothing about. They are sharing intimate things with one another. They are being emotionally unfaithful.

* How can you tell if your partner is having an emotional affair?

The signs of an emotional affair are very similar to the signs of a physical one. Your boyfriend or girlfriend may seem more quiet than usual. They may also seem increasingly annoyed with you. They may be spending more time away from home, as they find ways to have long conversations with the other person. They may be spending hours on their computer, and change the screen quickly when you walk in the room.

Pay attention to any signs of secrecy, such as not taking certain calls when you are present. Whenever you start to get the vibe that someone's stories are not adding up, this could be a sign of an emotional affair.

Also pay attention to what is lacking in your own relationship. Do you find your partner has no interest in really talking to you anymore? Is everything on the surface? If you have a problem, is this person no longer showing any interest in listening?

Emotional cheating can sometimes be more damaging to a relationship than a sexual fling. The betrayal of the heart and mind can be absolutely devastating.

If you are concerned that your spouse is having an emotional affair, try to determine if this is the case. In a faithful relationship, one partner in the marriage is not deeply tied to another on an emotional level. There is just not room for that, and it is not appropriate.

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