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People are always asking me what my secret is. I get tired of the gasp they give me in return for my answer. I'm pretty blunt. I used to say "Spanking", but now I call my secret "Discipline". I get a few less gasps with the word change, but I am still both amazed and disgusted at the remaining gasps. These same people with unruly children they cannot take in public at all are asking me how I get my children to behave, well, "normal"; they react as if I am crazy.

I understand it is controversial in our society. Yes, in a perfect world, time- outs would work for ALL children. I support your right to use the time- out method even if it doesn't seem to be working for you and your child. Please stay off of my rights. Some people view spanking as child abuse, and to a degree, I understand their view. I have seen parents literally abuse their children with spanking and I have seen parents who abuse through neglect and never dare spank their kids. It's all a matter of standards. Again, I'm not including real child abuse in that statement.

I have explained the difference between child abuse and what i do to my son all while growing up. He is 8 years old now and very well adjusted. He's not so good at keeping his room clean, but he's one of the best behaved children you could ever meet. I do have rules in place for myself regarding discipline. I do not believe I would ever go overboard, but I am not going to risk it so i planned for it, just in case. I never punish when i am angry. It will either wait until my husband comes home and it'll be his task for the night. I have always been known to call up my own mother and have her come over to discipline, just so that I can adhere to my own personal rules and standards. Again, I see no real risk of losing control, but I realize I'm just as human as the next person, so I plan for the worst case scenario.

Some people worry that spanking just reinforces violent behaviors in children. Well, in my experience, it hasn't. The only children I have seen be real aggressive and violent are ones in which the ONLY attention they ever get IS discipline. If you hardly see your child because you work too much or are "going out" to much, you're not the best candidate to punish your children without them taking from it a feeling of resentment and hopelessness. You would need to examine your entire situation carefully and planning accordingly. It is wonderful that we have the freedom to have different standards of raising our children. It is

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