by Jackeline Vzquez

Created on: April 17, 2009

Teen Views: Which is better: Blending in or standing out?

Every human has the desire to feel accepted. To feel like they are part of a group, even more so when we are teenagers, uncertain of our complete identity, more than at any other time in our life we want to blend in. The teenage years are the years that we both want to be independent but have a fierce need of acceptance. Very few teenagers want to stick out in any way and this is normal. This does not mean that they don't want to be different, unique individuals, with their own thoughts or values. Teenagers still want to be able to be free to express themselves in their own way but they will do so in the safety of a group that is like them. Hence all the different clicks we get ourselves into. Rarely do we see a goth with a prep or a jock. So there are various reasons to blend in; one it helps identify who we are what we value and what our interests are, two it gives us a sense of security and acceptance and this helps to create a strength in our self once others have accepted us and a strength in community. Standing out sounds real brave and honorable but no one really wants to be out there alone, and if we are for a long amount of time uncertainty, loneliness, and depression inevitably follows.

Blending in, as far as being a part of a group, is in us from the time we are born. We first belong to our family. We are like our family. We derive some of our foundation from our family, and though the family is comprised of people who have lived the same situations, in the same household, being taught the same values and beliefs, all ideas are processed through the very unique thoughts and minds of unique individuals. Our identification starts here. But can you imagine what we would be like if we felt we did not belong? One of two things can happen; we will either feel like we stand out so much that we become isolated or we will desire to blend in so bad that we begin to perform to please. Both of these are unhealthy. Isolationism takes us away from relationships, and relationships are an essential part of our nature and life. How do you relate to people, wife and kids if you are isolated because you feel different? On the other hand it is equally sad to see a child perform to please. This behavior will get us into trouble especially in our teens when we become part of a group just to fit in, even when fitting in is dangerous or demoralizing. This is why a girl will have sex just to be accepted, or a guy

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