by Dawn Clear

Created on: April 16, 2009   Last Updated: April 24, 2009

Exploring your family tree and gaining knowledge of your ancestor's genealogy seems to be a favorite pastime for a majority of people. Is it hobby or more of pursuit of discovering what components of your family's history combine to create the person you are today? Have you ever imagined what it would be like if you did not know who your biological parents were or if you did not want to learn about your family tree because you were adopted and there was an underlined fear of what you may find? What if you were adopted as an infant or at a very young age? You have no indication of ever being adopted. When is the best age to tell your child that they are adopted and what is the best approach?

When my husband and I made the decision to adopt that was just one of the issues dealt with by our agency during the many pre-qualification hours that was required by the state to be certified. Even though there was a room full of prospective parents planning on adopting children ranging from infancy to in our case, older and harder to place children, we all came to the same conclusion. Each child is unique and an individual in their own rights. They will grow at their own pace, have their own intelligence and have their own curiosities. Some will be more observant then others and because some of us would be raising children of abuse, some children may have delays. Children of foster care have dealt with lies, dishonesty and trust issues most of their lives. Not telling them the truth about being adopted would be keeping a secret that is not worth hiding. The most important is to know your child and recognize when he or she is ready to understand the truth.

It was easier for our children since they were older when we adopted them. The youngest was three at the time of her adoption. She may not have understood the concept of the adoption process at such a young age, nevertheless when she got older she did have questions. How come she could not remember her parents to eventually, how did we pick her. Our next adoption was a sibling group of two sisters. They were five and seven when they first came to live with us. They of course were fully aware of the adoption because of their age. They were so excited for their adoption. The day before their classes threw them an adoption party and I answered questions from their classmates. When a child's mind is hungry for knowledge, they will ask a question until they are satisfied, "How come they have brown eyes, black hair and darker

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