4 of 27

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 2

excuse this ultimate betrayal, but it may offer hope.

Men have needs, just as women do, and I'm not referring to sex. They need to feel loved and appreciated. They need to feel respected. They need to feel needed. This is not so different than their female counterparts. These are needs that we, as their wives, should be able to understand and we should provide the fulfillment of those needs. I, for one, did not do that for my husband for several years. The culmination of those needs being left unattended to was indeed an affair, though not fully executed save a couple of kisses shared and an emotional bond. This was, I assure you, still quite shocking and painful, even though I knew that our marriage was in trouble and I knew that much of that trouble stemmed from me.

I had treated my husband poorly, to say the very least. I forgot to appreciate him. I talked down to him, even when he was trying his very best to do kind things for me. I ignored the needs of his heart, while grabbing all I could for mine. I never complimented him, preferring to point out the negative over the positive. These things added up to create a man who desperately sought love and affection. He tried to find it at home, but it was nowhere in sight. He found it in a woman at his gym and she saw all the things the I once had and stroked his ego, pouring a balm over his lonely and broken heart. His affair may have led to my broken heart, but it started with his. I had to acknowledge that in order to make my own decision.

For me, the marriage was worth more than just throwing it away over this indiscretion that I knew was partially my own creation. Did it excuse the decisions of my husband? No. Did it make it easy to heal the wounds that I felt? No. Did it wake me up to my own shortcomings and the love I felt but forgot to share? Yes. Our marriage has never been better than it is today. Although I wish we could have gotten to this place some other way, we are here now and it is beautiful.

Learn more about this author, Victoria Tiegert.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

• << previous page
• 1
• 2

Add your voice

Know something about Why women go back to husbands who cheat?
We want to hear your view. Write now!