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There are dozens of reasons that women go back to, or stay with, husbands who cheat. Each of these reasons, however, can be placed in two categories: love and/or fear. They love this man that once captured their heart in such a way that they agreed to marry him. They love the children that this man helped to create and raise. They love being wives, putting heart and soul into the homes they make for their family. Or, they fear being alone. They fear losing the money that the husband provides. They fear raising their children without their father. Fear and love, the strongest swayers in life, always come into play when we are faced with the fact that our husband has been unfaithful.

As with anything else in life, it is unwise and unfortunate to put all men who cheat into one box and label them all the same. There are different kinds of cheaters and reasons for infidelity, some of which may be repairable and others which probably aren't. There are philandering men who do it because it is a sort of compulsion for them. They want to capture as many women as possible, while still having the sanctity of the little woman at home. There are others who are having trouble at home and find themselves involved in an affair that they never meant to have at all. There are still others who simply fall in love with someone else, whether they meant to or not, though they certainly allowed themselves to.

There are some affairs that can, and even should, be recovered from without giving up the entire marriage. There are others that have no real resolution and the woman scorned would be better off to walk away and start anew on her own. Then, there are those gray areas which are just unclear, but may be worth a try if you feel that there is something left of the marriage to build upon. No matter how you look at it, no matter how you deal with it, a man who has cheated is the nightmare of the wife who loves. He breaks her heart, but is he strong enough to help heal it?

This is something that you should certainly think about if you are in the position of trying to determine how to respond to an affair by your husband. Recoviering a marriage after an infidelity is hard work. Trust has been broken, along with hearts, lies have been told, a woman is left with fragile self-esteem and the question "why" which will never be answered to her satisfaction. But, maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe she had a bit more to do with the affair than she wants to admit. It doesn't

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