by J. Thornton-Thomas

Created on: April 16, 2009

I would never allow my son to have a girlfriend spend the night at our house. We believe in abstinence and this is what we've taught him. I don't want him to miss out on something that could be so special on his wedding night by jumping into a sexual relationship before fully understanding all that comes with it. In my opinion, teens and a lot of adults confuse lust with love. They are far too young to know what love truly is and when sexual attraction takes over-it spells trouble. I mentor a group of teens and I've seen cases where a girl has sex for the first time and is later diagnosed with herpes or worse, HIV.

I am not the type of parent who believes that it's better for them to have sex under their roof in a controlled environment. I also don't believe that if a boyfriend or girlfriend is allowed to spend the night that there won't be any tipping around after everyone has gone to bed. I'm not one for standing guard all night.

My son participated in a purity conference and has taken a vow of abstinence until his wedding night. He is very vocal about abstaining and tries not to place himself in situations where this will become a problem. He would never ask to have a girlfriend spend the night. But's consider something happens and she has to do so, because there are no other options. My son knows that they will definitely be in separate bedrooms and most likely, he will sleep in our sitting room. His father and I are very light sleepers so it would be a challenge for him to creep out of our bedroom.

Teens are surrounded by sexual images-it's on television, in the music, movies, on the radio and even in teen books. Parents should step up and continue to set boundaries for dating. Teach them how to avoid certain scenarios that can place them in that kind of temptation. Parents who allow teens to bring their boyfriend or girlfriend home to stay over are truly asking for trouble.

We want to give our teens more freedom and allow them to experience life for themselves, but they are just too young and emotionally immature to handle something so serious as a sexual relationship. My husband and I have worked hard to give my sons the tools he will need to make wise choices and we try to live by example. I can't tell another parent what to do in their own home, but as far as I'm concerned, there are still somethings worth waiting for in this world.

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