by Laura Beth Caldwell

Created on: April 15, 2009

There are certain essential elements in any relationship, regardless of whether that relationship is heterosexual or homosexual. Factors such as trust and honesty, faithfullness and sincerety, make up the foundation of every successful partnership.

But still, a lesbian relationship is unique. It is a partnership formed between two women who have put their trust in one another, and hopefully with the intent of offering one another a fullfilling and rewarding bond. A bond that will grow in spite of life's difficulties, rather than crumble under challenging circumstances.

It is no secret that women tend to be vulnerable. In spite of our best "poker face", we tend to have a soft touch, and with it a soft heart. A heart that is subject to breaking. Let's face it ladies- we all want to belong to something, more specifically, to someone who will share our dreams, our aspirations, our values- our beds. With today's saturated lesbian dating scene, finding "Mrs. Right" can be like finding a needle in a stack of needles. So when we do find her, even if it's the forth time around, we want to invest a little in the new "partnership" that has us walking about in a dizzy, stupified daze, wandering what to do next.

Honesty, from the beginning, is paramount. I say this because no one likes surprises- not really. Oh, it may be cute at first to learn little things about "Ms. Perfect", like how she enjoys french toast in bed on Saturday mornings. We can all live with that. But what happens when we learn that she also likes french toast in bed on Sundays- with your best friend? Not so cute anymore. That's why a little honesty as to each other's expectations for the relationship is so important. No one wants to be a wet blanket in a relationship. But no one wants to be left holding that wet, empty, blanket when the other person has moved on either. Does she want what you want? If not, re-evaluate and reconsider. Hurt feelings in the beginning are much easier to deal with than a broken heart months, or even years, down the line.

Compatibility, for me, is second to honesty. You may think you have a lot in common in the beginning- after all, you've finally found someone to share your passion for strawberry flavored whipped cream. How could life get better than that? But what happens when the "sweetness" of the moment wears off? And we all know that it does wear off. It's what I like to call "too much icing and not enough cupcake". It tastes good- it's fun, but eventually you will starve

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