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Recently, I was told by several friends that I don't sound like myself. It gave me pause for thought because as far as I'm concerned, I'm in a good place right now. But then realization hit-I'm battle weary. For the past two years, I have been in the worse storms of my life. It's the place where every thing that can go wrong-does. It's the place where family and friends turn on you and you have never felt so alone in your entire life.

It started when I set out to help one of my children with the purchase of a home for her and her daughter. We bought a cute little condo for them and placed it in our names. She had always been responsible so this wasn't a concern for us, but then she met a man who turned out to be a bum. She stopped paying her bills and her mortgage, giving it to him to gamble away and soon found herself in foreclosure. We weren't aware of what was going on until the house was foreclosed on and sold, which greatly impacted our credit. At that time, we were preparing to refinance our own home and couldn't due to the recent foreclosure. As a result of that, our mortgage adjusted and while we continued to pay the rising amount, our savings was dwindling.

In the end, we had to sell our house and move into an apartment just to recover financially. During this phases, I was dropped by one publisher and didn't hear back from my other, so with no contracts-no money. Then my father died and I was left to handle his affairs, which caused friction btween my siblings to the point that I gave them everything including what should have been rightfully mine just to keep the peace. On the day that I buried my dad, my mother was rushed into surgery to have a quadruple bypass.

I had friends and family turning on me all around because I could no longer help them out financially. It was at this point that I couldn't do anything but moan-no words would come out of my mouth. I suffer from panic disorder and the attackes came so often that I coouldn't leave the apartment. There was even a moment when I felt that even God had abandoned me. Life had hit me hard and while I felt like giving up-I knew that I wouldn't.

I stayed in God's word and I gently reminded Him of His promises. I sought him out daily because I needed to hear from Him. God heard my cry. After my mother's surgery, the doctors kept calling her a miracle. Two of her valves were 90 and 100% blocked. The other two were 80 and 85% blocked so they said she should have been dead. Her doctor told me that he had never seen a heart make another hole, but this was God's way of showing me that no matter what happens in life-HE CAN ALWAYS MAKE ANOTHER WAY.

He allowed my father to pass into eternity but He spared my mother's life and while I am battle weary and emotionally spent from all that's happened in the past couple of years-I'm blessed beyond measure. The experience has brought me into a closer relationship with the Lord and He has turned things around for my good. I've learned to set boundaries and to stay out of God's way when He is trying to deal with others. God is the answer when life hits you hard.

Learn more about this author, J. Thornton-Thomas.
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