by Ave Yarrum

Created on: April 15, 2009

It is better to have a small group of friends

Maybe just one best friend is the answer! All that you can count on is you. Why not be your own best friend!

While little children are growing up, they perhaps have mutliple friends. Often, they will cite one as their "best friend". This is probably true with teenagers, college kids and soccer moms. Multiple friends confuse life for some, because there is no possible way to have a unique bond with many individuals. Dividing your being into pleasing many "friends" is a destructive, emotional disaster. Friends tend to think the same on many different subjects. There is no way to oblige everyone by thinking as each one does.

A friend is not someone to help you solve your problems or do your chores. A friend is someone with whom you can express yourself...someone who can share a different opinion than yours and still respect how you feel. Sometimes that friend is a sister or husband, but most importantly it is someone who shares a mutual respect with you.

Back to being your own best friend. That is essential! Some forget that when you are alone, you have yourself to depend on and hopefully, you have a Greater Power to support you. That is truly a beginning of friendship. Learn about yourself...your strengths and weaknesses before you venture out to have a relationship with another human being. You have to be comfortable in your own skin before you can have compassion and understanding for another person. Being a friend to someone does not mean twisting yourself around them but existing next to them in a non-combative manner. You never have to feel alone or abandonned if you choose your friendship with yourself first. Then an individual who shares some common interest...family, profession, or passion is a natural to become a friend.

You cannot possibly be a friend to everyone. Many people feel guilty because they don't feel as though they are friends with everyone in the family, everyone in the office or everyone in the neighborhood. That guilt is soul-sickening because it comes from people pleasing habits. The person in question, may not like you. You struggle to see yourself through their eyes and run into a wall of emotional dissatisfaction. What will "they" think of me! Make that thought your last thought...what do you think about yourself!

Be happy! If you have a friend that respects you on all your days, cherish that friendship. It is truly special and not to be taken lightly. Reciprocate the acceptance and love with your friend and remember who your "best" friend is.

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