by Nancy Boland

Created on: April 15, 2009

There is no sure fire way of predicting whether or not a friendship will turn out to be a dependable, optimistic relationship in your life, or by contrast, a pessimistic one will cause upset or worry. Once a relationship starts to go bitter, the perpetrator is often a lethal blend between the two.

A toxic' friend is identified as a friend who pollutes our social life with disparaging or hurtful actions. It may not be a single person's oversight, but sometimes knowing a personality can assist on recognizing those who are tainting our lives.

The soul destroyer

This friend is always there with grave news to contradict any positive news you might have. Broke? She's just won the lottery. Overindulged in chocolate? She just happens to know the calorie consumption of every last mouthful. Also known as let-down Lesley, comedown Carol or discouraging Diana. Advice? Keep your good news to yourself whenever they're around, especially when something exceedingly positive has happened. Unless you enjoy flagging your spirit around on a ball and chain, this sort of friend is unnecessary in all situations.

The plus-one

This is the friend that always feels she has to gain some sort of advantage over you. This friend likes to believe she is comprehensive and varied, shapely and experienced in many areas but more often than not, does it to make others feel substandard in comparison. Refer to an upcoming trip to the Bahamas' and you'll soon discover her 6 bedroom villa there, not to mention her legion of fans which await her arrival. The greatest tip to handling this type of person is to simply disregard them. They long for praise, endorsement and more so than anything, attention. If this isn't enough, they anticipate your jealousy like a regular train arrival. No matter how farfetched their stories become, keep response levels to a minimum and they'll stop regaining the kick of outshining you. After all, nothing reeks of ambivalence more than the back of your head.

The charity case

What are your motives for befriending the charity case? Your rationale. Your incentive. You know your raison d'tre? The point is, you probably won't be able to come up with a valid intention. Most of the time, we can't remember when this "relationship" began... we recall guilt, served up next to a large helping of shame, followed by lashings of empathy, and the rest is history. This friend is always scraping the bottom of the barrel, in fact that shady recollection of someone knee deep in trash, may have

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