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I remember the outrageous fights I had with my mother. I remember feeling out of place when we weren't fighting or arguing. Just as my mother would throw out the famous lines such as " when you live under my roof..." I would counter with " when I have kids I'm not going to treat them this way!" There were sleepless nights, threats of running away, near fist fights, and dirty looks mixed with the cold shoulder that lasted weeks. I swore once I turned eighteen she would never hear from me again! Half of the things I did when I was a teenager, I did on purpose to hurt my mother. And sure enough, when I turned eighteen I was gone.

Two days after moving in to my first apartment the furnace wouldn't start, and the first person I called was my mother. She of course talked me through how to get working and all was well. When I found out I was pregnant in my second semester of college, I called my mom, who told me exactly how everything was going work out and be ok. And when my daughter was born, my mother held my hand through it. Over the years it became apparent that my mother was the first person I always turned to, and she was right every time.

I am thirty three now, married to a military man, and we have four children. The military took my family two thousand miles away from my mother, and I miss her more than I ever would have thought I could. Once I grew up and had my own "real" problems and obstacles, her friendship was what I needed. These days I would say she is my best friend. We talk every day, and we talk about every thing, and I mean everything! Now with my own children growing up so fast I understand my mother more and more.

I believe as we get older the transition from parent to friend just happens naturally. As children grow up so many changes take place between the parent and child that a friendship is an evolving gift. We as children gain forgivness, and understanding for our own parents while we raise our children. Forgivness and understanding is a building block to any strong friendship, so it makes sense that the people who have known us longest, will inevitably become our friends. My mother has become my friend after such a difficult relationship when I was a child, and I cherish her friendship. She gives me advice when I need it, and listens when I rant. What more could I expect from any friend. I believe as a child gets older it's necesary to transition to friendship in order to keep a close relationship with your children. Otherwise I think the bond that is so strong when we're little, slowly fades and disappears. I would take friendship with my kids any day over not having anything with them.

Learn more about this author, Michelle Paszkowski.
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