by J. Thornton-Thomas

Created on: April 15, 2009   Last Updated: April 23, 2009

How to live without fear is learning to have complete and total dependance in the Word of God. For the past fourteen years, I have been stricken with panic disorder for years and there were times that I could not even leave my house without having a severe attack. I was so crippled by the disorder to the point that I couldn't fly anywhere or drive my car. I soon became a prisoner in my own home. My doctor prescribed pills for me to take but they made me feel numb through most of the day and I didn't like feeling that way so I stopped taking them.

I know God to be a healer and so, with Bible in hand, I began an earnest study of the word, hiding God's promises in my heart. I remember reading about the disciples being in the boat with Jesus and how they became afraid during the stom. One of the things that stayed with me was that Jesus was on the boat with them and yet their flesh got the better of them. They were afraid.

What struck me is that they didn't seem to realize that the boat wasn't about to sink with Jesus in it. Just like he was with them that night, Jesus is a part of each of us-we carry him in our hearts. After reading that particular chapter in Mark, I felt empowered. Now when I feel an attack coming on-I think back on the Disciples and Jesus on that stormy night. This, along with stuying God's word has helped me overcome my disorder. I can leave the house and drive myself without an attack coming on and it's all because of God's healing power.

I had to realize that if I lived my life in fear, it was because I didn't know God very well. We often learn to trust people as we learn their character. This is the same with God. We can't trust Him fully until we have a great understanding of His character. My heart was convicted when I received this revelation.

I am on a journey now to build a much closer relationship with the Lord because I hunger to know Him. As I continue to study His word, an invisible thread binds me to my Father in heaven and my trust has been elevated. I still struggle with anxiety from time to time, but instead of dreading it as I did in the past, I now consider it a gently reminder of how much I need God in my life.

I am confident that there is no reason for me to fear anything in life. Like that stormy night on the boat, I know Jesus is always with me, even during those times that I feel He is sleeping.

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